What I have learned Thursdays… I should read my blog more.

I used to do a series here on my blog called; “What I have learned Thursdays.”  I miss that series.  I am going to start doing it more.  I am not committing to every Thursday, but I am going to try hard to do it as often as I can.

This series is about sharing all the little things that I learn while on life’s journey.

I wanted to share something I have learned that has made such an impression on me. 

Over New Year’s weekend, I somehow started reading some posts from my blog; again.

I randomly went through reading posts that were from the years past.  I bet I read about 50 posts.

What it taught me?

It reminded me that I am blessed.  That I have been given so many blessings along the way.  I’m thankful I wrote them down so I could remember some of them.

I read some stories that I had forgotten about.  I am so thankful I have them recorded.  This post shares a story about Tess in it that brought me to tears.  I was happy to have that brought back to my memory.

Reading my blog reminded me that I do more as a mom then I think, and I need to give myself more credit.  It also reminded me that I have simplified life some.  I think that is for the better, but I also wish I could do all that I used too.  Our busy life doesn’t warrant that now; and that’s ok. 

I also had to laugh at how I used to count my days in 20 minute increments.  Now my 20 minutes are spent doing different things.  I think I take life 1 minute at a time now.  These older kids tend to keep me on my toes.  Instead of sitting around nursing babies and changing diapers, I am running kids to and fro, and mentally trying to remember every detail of 6 peoples lives.  Oh, how quickly life changes.

It reminded me that those days of medical school, residency, and those 4 small kids were such a good time.  I wish I would have cherished them more.  You know how everyone tells you they go fast?  Well they do.  I am thankful I wrote down some of the things I was grateful for; especially during a time when we lived far away from family and our children were so little, and I was growing so much as a person.

I am also so grateful that photos are important to me.  Sometimes the photos say more than the words.  Taking pictures can really take effort sometimes.  I am grateful I made the time, and sometimes the days that I kept it simple or just recorded the little daily moments; are the images that came out speaking the loudest.

I enjoyed reading this post about my deep sadness that my baby days are over.  It is fun to think back to the time of bringing home a newborn, and realize that even now I feel that same twinge of sadness.  Then I remember how good life is to now be raising those babies; and I’m ok again.

  

I love how reading those words make me want to vow to treasure the little things all over again; just like I did that day I wrote the post.

Sometimes when I re-read my blog, I answer my own questions.  My own words can even help me with my own self-improvement.  Many times I read ideas that helped me previously that I had forgotten all about.

For example: This year one of my new year’s resolutions is to judge less. Especially judge my own immediate family less. I found a post with this great story that I had linked to earlier.  It reminded me of the effects of passing judgments; especially to our immediate family members.  Hmmmm.  Just what I was wanting to work on.  Amazing how words from 5 years ago can help me now.

I stumbled upon these words that I wrote about Isaac when he was 3; they are helping me to understand Isaac know.  This is something I have been working on.

I wrote on Dec. 15, 2010: “Right now, I am enjoying Isaac so much.  Even when he throws fits with the best of them, I have begun to understand that he is animated in all he does.  His fits are over the top, but that just means his love, smiles, and excitement are too.”

Even now, at age 7, I can be reminded that he is animated in all he does.  That is just who he has always been.  It helps me when making decisions for discipline and my own reactions to situations.

This year I wanted to remember to apply one of my 10 mother’s little secrets; calm equals power.  Then I stumbled on this quote here on my blog:

“Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words.  Divine light develops in places of peace and quiet.” Elder Bushe

Even more reason to calm down.

I enjoyed reading and remembering about those times in my life that defined who I am today.  Reflecting upon that only helps solidify who I am still becoming.

Reading about our traditions reminds me why I do them.  I have always thought that traditions are the glue in any family.

 

I enjoyed most reading some of my most sacred posts about motherhood.  They each reminded me that I am a daughter of God, and his gift to me are these children.

These sacred posts taught me about sacrifice, happiness, some of my best days as a mother, some of my hardest days as a mother, and why I am the best mom for the job of raising my 4 littles.

So.

Now.

That you know.

It’s time to write. 

Write a blog.

Write in a notebook. 

Write on an index card. 

Write on a sticky note. 

I promise you that you will never ever regret having your own words in a safe place.  They will teach more than you know.

Oh, and passing the habit along to your children; is a great idea too…

…and that’s what I have learned.

Why I write to my kids.

A few years back I started writing to my kids via a journal.

They each have their own journal.

When I write to them, and I don’t do it often enough; I leave the journal on their bed.

Then they can write back to me and they leave it on my bed.

I hope this journal serves as a safe place for our children to share any problems or concerns that they may have; a place to share openly and freely.

I also hope that it will be a place to look back, and reflect, and realize how much I love them.

What I didn’t realize is how much strength it would give me.

What I didn’t realize is how it could help me realize that my kids do love me and how they do realize how I try to serve them.

That’s what we as mothers do; we serve our kids.  Often times that goes unnoticed.

How wonderful it is to have kind note from your kids.

Sometimes those words help you realize that what you are doing is important.

These words have been such a gift to me:

Everything is great! I love you and think that you are so great a being a mom.

*you blog

*you cook

*you know style

How could every kid not love you?

I hope your arm gets better and the doctors in SLC can figure it out.

                                                           Love, Jex

Reading the words, “How could every kid not love you?”, made my day.

Reading “you know style”, made me laugh. (he recently realized that he values my opinion when it comes to fashion and hairstyles; which makes me feel good that my tweenager values my opinion.)

Reading “I hope your arm gets better and the doctors in SLC can figure it out”, makes me proud that I am raising a boy who cares and shows concern for others.

This little thing of writing to my kids taught me so much about being a mother.

So I have a resolution to write more, mostly for my kids; but also for myself.

Melancholy

(Photos for my melancholy post, are taken from my iphone and from years past; all unedited.  WARNING: some may be blurry, and their may be possible red eye.  I know, not your typical JandA thing to do; but tonight I’m keeping it real)

(P.S. I must say these photos brought back so many feelings; I am thankful for them.  Some made me smile, some laugh, and some even cry. I hope you enjoy this little photo journey too.)

I love the holidays.  I love everything about this time of year.

Twelve years ago, I celebrated my first Christmas as a mom.

I wish I had a picture, but pictures weren’t digital then; at least not for me.

(Our earliest Digital Christmas photo; red eyes and all.  2003)

You can tell I’m being lazy about editing pictures tonight huh? I’m giving it all I got tonight.

Twelve years ago, we started our families traditions.

…as the years have gone on, we have added to them.

(Christmas 2012)

We have added some pretty fun traditions over the years.

(Christmas 2012; Max the elf replaces stocking with underwear.)

The one tradition that I didn’t expect to add is: that my kids would grow older.

(Christmas 2010)

I DIDN’T AGREE TO THAT.

(Christmas 2013)

I didn’t add it too my lists, and I certainly didn’t write it in my Christmas planner.

I’m feeling a little melancholy about it to tell you the truth.

About 4 years ago, I was in this heavenly stage of life.

 

(Christmas 2009)

Don’t get me wrong, all the stages have had their heavenly parts.

I just don’t think I realized how great I had it 4 years ago, or 5 years ago, or even 6 years ago.

4 years ago, I had 4 kids ranging in age from 1 to 8.

I had all of the believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas.

My 8 year old and 6 year old still went to bed at 8:00pm(sometimes 7:30pm.)

This meant reading a Christmas story to them before bed each night was easy.

They came home from school each day and had a snack, and we would hang out.

They had very little homework, which left time for building gingerbread houses and making snowflakes.

(Christmas 2012)

We could hop in the car and go for a drive to see the lights because they didn’t have to practice the piano,  go to competitive baseball practice, or dance until 8:45pm.

(Christmas 2012-indoor snowball fight)

We had time to have indoor snowball fights, drink hot chocolate, and make cookies; all because there were less demands on our family.

(Present time-2014; I make cookies alone while kids are at school and Tess recovers from her tonsillectomy)

In years past, every single child would go with us to deliver homemade goodies to our neighbors.

(2014)

This year, only our youngest 2 were available to knock on doors and say, “Merry Christmas.” 

Too be honest, I can’t even remember where the older 2 children were. 

Oh! Yes, I remember; dance recital rehearsal and private baseball lessons.

I know you are all thinking to yourself, “you chose to put your children in each of these things.”

Yes, your right, we did.  But, it’s the way the world works now.  Everything so much more competitive than it was when we were children.

 

And, let’s be honest, I did not know when I signed cute little 10 year old and 5 year old up for dance that said recital would be on the 16th of December. What mother wants to be dealing with that during December?

My solution: Let’s watch little cuties dance in February when we can’t smile or get out of bed because winter has sucked us in to it’s deep dark abyss of depression.  I think a 5 year old in a tu-tu shaking her groove thing would be enough to suck me right back out.  That just might be something I add to my comment card for said dance instructor.

I know that life changes and I know that outside demands come with older children, I just feel a little melancholy for our 7 year old and 5 year old who don’t get the time for the same traditions that the older children had.

Although things change, there have been some new changes to our traditions that have added great feelings to our holiday.

 

Now that our children our older we have been able to take them to some plays.  They are old enough to sit through them.

This year, we went to Michael Mclean’s Forgotten Carols.  This is a favorite of mine. A tradition from my childhood or more likely teenage years.  It was so awesome to finally share it with our children.

We also went to see Juanito Bandito’s Christmas Carol.  This was pee your pants funny.  I enjoyed seeing my kids laugh.

One of the things that hasn’t changed are the memories that we have from previous years.

The words I have loved to hear this year, “Oh, I remember that” or, “this is one of my favorite books.”

It’s nice to have them say things like, “mom when are you going to make your Christmas carmels; they are my favorite” or, “are you going to make those green mints this year?”

 

It’s fun to see them race around the house looking for our elf Maximus.

 

Isaac hops out of bed in the morning to find him.  Isaac doesn’t hop out of bed really for anything.  He usually grumbles and kicks about that, but Max has the magic touch.

(Max asking the kids if they want to go skiing; Jonathan’s invention- 2014)

One tradition that is easy to follow through with is their chocolate countdown calendars.  That tradition is all on them.  I was brilliant when I started this one. There is no help required from me, although I do enjoy telling Tess each day what numbers to look for and open.

 

This year has been one of learning and growing for me as I realize that I can’t expect to do all that we have done in the past.

I learn that I can’t list my expectations for the season out on our advent calendar for our children to read through.

 

Then my children expect them to happen, as they should.

I can’t always follow through, our life doesn’t permit that right now.

I learn that I don’t want to be that mom that says, “we will have to do that one tomorrow.”

There are lots of things piling up on my tomorrows.

I learn that I can’t expect to read a book to my kids every night.  It doesn’t work to read a book to sleepy children at 11pm when you get home from a play, or your older children that roll in from dance or scouts at 9:00pm.  Then you feed them dinner. Yes! folks! dinner! Now it is 10pm, and once again too late for a 5 year old, and little dancers to keep their peepers open.

 

I learn that next year, I will wrap only a handful of books.  I won’t label them with a date, like I have in the past.

We will unwrap any book that they choose,  and read on the nights we can.

I have learned that we will plan to do hot chocolate, gingerbread houses, and toilet paper snow ball fights over their holiday break.

We will do this when we are all home without any outside demands.

 

I have learned we drink hot chocolate on the fly with luke warm water because we have no time to let it cool.  It’s 10pm and bed time.

(Christmas 2010)

I’m melancholy about these changes.  It feels like the end of an era.

(Christmas 2009)

I know there is good to come, and many wonderful memories to be made.

(Christmas 2008)

Sometimes a mamma just misses her baby babies, and the simple times at home with them.  When life required staying home because one or two of them napped.

(Christmas 2007)

Now in the present, I have grown-up babies with chaotic times in the car, and minimal napping.  And when I say napping, then only one napping around here is me; and I mean minimally. Why is it that kids despise naps, and grown-ups adore them?

I’m learning t0 cherish all the moments, including times in the car.

It’s time to start the tradition of singing Christmas carols as we travel too and fro; in the beat-up mini-van.

Will you all tell Santa to bring me a new car for Christmas?

I’m learning to roll with the changes, and adapt to the needs of our family.

I recently read this quote on a letter from a friend (thanks Chelsey):

“When you have children; the days are long, and the years are short.”

(Christmas 2006)

I’m learning to cherish the days, because my years with them are much too short.

(Christmas on Saba 2005)

Merry Christmas Y’all.

Enjoy a wonderful holiday full of moments you treasure.

I challenge you to find a way to record those moments.  Take a picture, write something down in a journal, share something via instagram or facebook, or write a letter to your children about your memories. 

Don’t let your memories fade away.  Memories can be cherished  when they are recorded and our mind can go back to reflect upon them.

(Christmas 2004)

Thank you for being here and sharing this year with us at JandA&Co.

My New Years resolution is to record more of our memories, and be accepting of change.

What are yours?

(Oh, and as per my husbands request; cook more.)

“Ain’t nobody got time for that.”