Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hello Hello Hello... is anyone out there?

Can I stand on my soapbox?

Is anyone listening?

Can anyone relate? 

Is there anyone out there who thinks there life is more glamorous then mine?

No way.  It couldn't be.

Today, I changed 10 poopy diapers.  Can you say Glamour-filled all the way.  One of those diapers was a blowout.  THANKS TESSA!!


I changed 2 in the Mother's Room at our church.

Another 2 in Burger King with no changing table.   I changed Tess on my lap, and Isaac standing up.  Are you imagining this in your head?  It is pretty hilarious.

2 in the car, with the wind nipping at my heals, and their little bums.

3 in the girls locker room at the high school.  Once again with out a changing table.

1 (THE BLOWOUT) at the hospital that Jonathan works at.  Once again with out a changing table.

Glamorous aye?

I know you are wishing that you had a life JUST like mine.

All the while, counting how many times someone said to me, "You have your hands full."

I don't come to your job and say, man you have your hands full.

The next person that says that to me is going to end up with spit in their face.  Don't believe me? I wouldn't hesitate. Seriously, I am so sick of it. SERIOUSLY.

I really did count how many times.  Would you like to know the final result?

30, thirty, three-zero.

Who cares if I have my hands full.  What are you going to do about it?

Certainly not open a door for me, carry my tray of food to the table, or heaven forbid install a changing table in your public restroom.

What is this world coming too? 

When 4 kids is considered an astronomical amount?

Shame on me for allowing people to make me feel like it is wrong to have that many kids, or that I am just plain weird.  That I don't belong, or I am a social outcast.

I would love to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I would wish that they were thinking, 'Look at her, mother of 4.  That is so wonderful.  Look, they are all dressed nicely, they are behaving wonderfully, and she is out of her pajamas.  She must be a good mom.  Good for her."

I don't always think that is what they are thinking.  I can only HOPE.

I think the looks were worse today.  We went to Jex's baseball tryouts in church clothes,(Jex had changed of course) because we just came from a baptism. 

All of us girls in skirts. 

Picture me at a baseball tryout with a skirt, cute leggings, sparkly shoes, a flower in my hair.

The other moms in jeans, a hoodie, New Balance runners, and sportin' the pony tail. (which is what you would expect)

Then Isaac in a nice button-down shirt and sweater vest.

I swear people thought we were 18 kids and counting.

I would love help in coming up with a really great response for the comment,

"You have your hands full." 

If you have one, Please leave a comment.  The best submission wins a King Size Candy bar of your choice.(make sure I can link back to your blog or email to tell you if you win)

Best Comment will be posted here next week.

What does it mean to have your hands full?  Do they mean my kids are rowdy and a hand full, or that my hands are full because I am carrying a car seat and dragging along a 2 year old?

What is it people?

Is there anything greater in this world to have your hands full with?

So you lovely people who chose to comment on my hands, should think before you speak.

I promise you nobody has a more glamorous life then a mother.

Poop, spit up, bags under the eyes.  Whatever it takes to fill these hands. 

I am up for the challenge, because there is nothing I would rather have my hands full with.  Glamorous as it may be.

There is nothing more wonderful then 8 tiny hands to grab your cheeks at the end of the day and say, "I love you mommy."  Then plant a big old wet one on those tired yet still so glamorous cheeks.

I'll take my full hands any day.  I wouldn't trade them for any other glamorous life. 

You can have your tall mocha lattes.  I will keep my short chocolate covered munchies.


Pam said...

I am laughing out loud!! I can hear your voice as I read this post!!! Do you think "Oh you have your hands full is code for--- Oh honey have you heard of Birth Control? LOL I don't know why the world thinks that four is an astronomical number-maybe it is because they know they could never handle it themselves!! You are a GREAT MOM!!

The Smith Family said...

I felt the same way when we were traveling to PA for the Holidays. I just had my 3rd baby, and I felt like I was part of a 3 ring circus! Eyes were on us all the time and comments, such as "how many kids do you HAVE"??? Were driving me nuts! I started to try to think of good come backs to say, for the next skinny lady to ask me, HOW many kids I had. The best that I could think of was to say "You should see the other wives!" Or "We live in Utah, this is nothing!"...Unfortunately, I never got to use any of my thoughts! :)
You could say something like:
"I sure do! Could you take this tray please?!?"
"I know, I LOVE it!"
"Only I could do it!"
"Isn't it amazing that I still look this good"!


Stella said...

I am following your blog for a month and I enjoy it. Let people talk; the things they are saying tells you more about them and NOTHING about you.I am the youngest one of eight children and I am proud of it. I am 45 now but in my childhood there were so many comments because I was "one of the eight". I think you're a wonderful mother!

Anonymous said...

Likely they are just trying to show some sort of understanding that you are busy. Sort of trying to communicate empathy. Not in a bad way but to just say "You must be a busy woman."

Honestly, I wouldn't take it personally. People don't know what to say half the time, so they simply comment on what they see without much of a hidden agenda at all.

Anonymous said...

PS. I think that you should take other people commenting as a compliment. It usually means that people find you pleasant, friendly and approachable.

The reverse of that is the mom who is angrily screaming at her children and everyone stands staring but not daring to say anything at all because she looks so awful.

People mean well usually. I would simply say, "I have developed great organizational skills!" with a smile.

Darlene said...

I understand what you mean...I think they're just trying to make conversation and not knowing how uncomfortable it makes you or maybe I'm wrong and they're just trying to make themselves somehow feel better. I like the comment you made yourself about how you wouldn't rather have your hands full with anything else :). But, if you feel like your blood is boiling the next time someone says that to you, you could say "I know! Not many other people could do what I do.", or "I do, but I'm GOOD at it!". :) You're a great mom and anyone that would get to know you would admire you!

Caitlin said...

When I see you with your four kids, I think "Look at her, mother of 4. That is so wonderful. Look, they are all dressed nicely, they are behaving wonderfully, and she is out of her pajamas. She must be a good mom. I hope I'm half that good when I have kids." I don't think I've ever told you this, but I find your blog very inspiring. Every time I read it, I can't help but wish to be exactly like you when I have a family. You run circles around the rest of us and still manage to look amazing. Don't worry about what other people think. Or you could just tell them "These are a handful? I left the other six at home today."

Matt Ormond Family said...

I like the feeling of being different b/c of the kids. That's part of the reason we don't live in Utah/Idaho. It feels more strange to me to be around so many young moms & families instead of the odd one.

I respond with "Yes, and I wouldn't change it for the anything." Because that's the truth- whether I'm in my jammies, or really dressed, whether my kids look nice or have snot dripping down to their chin, whether they are perfectly well behaved or not getting along. I still wouldn't change it for the world and I feel good about who we are.

Beth Curtis said...

you crack me up! I will be the first to say that I had no idea how hard motherhood was until I became a mother. People are just clueless. I must say you do a wonderful job as a mommy! You are always so creative and involved with your kids!

Matt Ormond Family said...

I also get the comments about "All boys?" or "3 boys huh? or "Are you going to try for a girl?" (seriously grocery check out lady? family planning is an approriate conversation?) ...(I should reply- yes! tonight actually.)
I reply to that one that "I love my little gentlemen." I think more important than the way I feel when I get these comments is the message that it sends to my kids (they hear my response everytime- don't think they aren't paying attention.) It is important for them to know that I'm proud to be their mom & I'm proud of them.

Heidi Parson said...

This is how I see it...”Hands Full Now, Heart Full Later” That is what you tell those people that just don't get it! I am so sorry people can be so mean. 4 kids now a days, were 6 kids back in our parents age. People thought my mom was CARZY while living in Atlanta, Georgia with 6 kids all under the age of 10. People would always ask her “ Are these all YOURS??” As if she was a freak of nature. She says it only made her stronger and more determined women when people would say things like that and stare her and us kids up and down! I would say to you…Don't look at the now, Look at the end!! You are an AMAZING Mom.You are doing what the Lord has asked you to do. We just need to remember to relay on His love and have confidence that we doing what he has asked us to do. Sending my love!

Katie said...

What a great post to read after a day like ours! Our blow out 20 min before church caused us to be an hour late. Daddy was on call so I was on my own and my 4 year old decided he needed a bath with my 10 month old 15 min before church started. I just gave up trying to be on time since I knew that would cause me to be crabby with my kids so we made it late but happy. I get the comment that I too have my hands full with my 3 kiddos VERY often. I often smile and ask if they want to join the party secretly hoping they'll pick up on the hint that some help would be nice and sometimes it works. What a supermom you are!

Susan said...

I just had my eighth child around the same time you had Tess, but they range from age 20 and down. I can relate to the, "You sure do have your hands full." comment. I hear it all the time now as I shop with the baby, 2 year old, and 4 year old. Many times I do reply that this is just the last 3 of eight, but other times I just smile. I try to take it as a compliment, but sometimes I wonder if it's not. I don't remember hearing those words as much with the other kids. I feel like you...I gussy all of us up to the max so we won't be an eyesore, the children are well behaved, I'm calm, etc. but I still get that comment! By the way, you were my role model all last week in trying to get more done with my time (ie.-skirts, shirts, Master bedroom redo, homemade Valentines, etc.)'re my new hero. Your energy and creativity level baffle me....REALLY.

Jasons girls said...

Oh Andrea! Thanks for this !! I think your comeback should be "my other 4 are at school !!" On the bright side, at least people are attempting to talk to you. More and more people just walk on by. Miss you

Krysta said...

I agree with everything that's been said. You really are amazing! Just keep telling yourself those are the thoughts of everyone around you when they make the comment that makes you cringe. I hate it too. I think people are so amazed that they really don't know what to say. I'm on the same lines as Heidi - "Full hands = Full heart!!" Enough said.

Christal said...

Heehee...boy, can I relate!However, all in all, I think people notice mom's with their 3+ children and are just trying to quickly say a little something to show that...there's not always enought time to say something perfectly appropriate1 I always just reply, "Oh, yes! And they are happy hands!" (Full hands are better than empty, huh?)

Brunson's said...

Believe it or not. I still get comments here in one of the Mormon states and I only have two. And they sure are a handful but I love it.I think that Satan has really gotten into the heads of people that kids are a burden, noisy, and hard. I know it is really hard to get these comments as a mother. It is frustrating. But I agree with the others. You are doing what Heavenly Father wants you to do and you are doing great at it. Just keep your head up. Bridger is so huge already in 2t and size 6 shoe the comment I always get is wow you didn't wait long in between. I smile and say actually they are two years apart. Just remember to always smile about it and your Heavenly Father will constantly be pouring blessings upon you.

Dave S. said...

HAHAHA!! I think you should when they tell you that you have your hands full you should say....Oh actually this is really easy today.. my other 3 are at home. HA just kidding. I have wanted to say that before since they already think 4 is like a dozen kids!

schrammfam said...

Now sure why that went under Daves name. Didnt know he had an account!! ahah

The Mortensens said...

Hey Andrea, I read your blog frequently and love it! You are amazing, and we love catching up with you through the blog. I can totally relate. My friend told me the BEST thing, she has three little ones, and often gets the "You've got your hands full" comment. Now, every time she gets it, she confidently says"Better full than empty!" and walks away. She says it always takes them back a bit and makes them think and realize that WE enjoy our hands full, we CHOSE to have our hands full, and it is BLESSING to have our hands full. We wouldn't want it any other way, right?

Anyways, you're awesome, we think about that fun Thanksgiving Rochester several years ago, what fun memories! Keep at it, it's all worth it!

Jennifer said...

I have to tell you that the town we live in now, it is perfectly normal to have more than the 2.2 average children! No stares here! I feel less weird here than I did when we lived in Bryant about having four kids!

Jennifer S. said...

I hear ya sister! My favorite is when they ask if I am going to have more. Geez people, I just gave birth, could I maybe enjoy the one I just had first please?! Or, are you gonna try for that boy? As if my three girls aren't enough, I must have a boy too! People just don't think before they speak. btw, I found your blog thru Just a Girl. Very nice!

the meyer fam said...

I just found your blog today and I'm loving it!! I have four kids, 6, 4 1/2, 2 1/2, & 19 months. Oh and we just got a puppy. I get the hands full comment all the time. I usually say "yep but it is so much fun!!!" Which it is for me, I was an only child so to see my kids play together is awesome and something I wished for as a kid. Your blog is great and this post describes my life to a T. Thanks and good luck with your awesome comebacks. :)

the meyer fam said...

I just wanted to tell you that I posted about your blog on mine because I just loved this post so much.

Christa said...

I just fuond your blog from the link on Heather's :)... I have 6 kids under 7 right now, (7 down to 3 months) and I love how you describe my life :).... sounds SO familiar!! I wish my hubby were here right now, he has all the best comebacks for the stupid "hands full" comment which I HATE!!!! And I don't care if it's just because they don't know what else to say--- just don't say anything!!!! I can seriously see them counting my kids, then looking up to say it. The other day I was rude and cut the lady off before she could even say it and asked her not to say anything at all because good or bad, I was not in the mood. And well.... I feel bad for being such a bad example to my kids.... so I wouldn't recommend spitting on them, even though it might feel good at the moment :).... But I would just say, "yeah, huh... and yours aren't!"
Anyway- thanks for your post... I feel slightly more normal for the time being :) My blog is kids are so fun- ya gotta love being a mom.

Christa said...

or you could say, "yeah, mine might be full, but I've got 8 others that are more than willing to help out!"

April said...

Hi! I'm an old high school friend of your hubby, and have loved peeking at your blog from time to time :) I have 4 busy little boys and whenever people tell me I have my hands full... I just tell them my hands and my heart are full of what matters most!

Anonymous said...

I am new to reading your blog (found you from Just a Girl!) and I adore it! I am one of "those" women who long to have a house full of children! Right now I have two (a 6 year old girl and a 2 year old boy) If it were only up to me I would have 5, wait maybe 6 like my grandmother, however my husband only wants one more... maybe he will change his mind and I will get 2. Funny thing is when we got married I only wanted 2, and he wanted a house full! =)

So, as to your question "having your hands full"... yes, full of the greatest kind of love anyone in the world can ever imagine having! Honestly, does anyone really experience that unconditional love until they become a parent?(the kind that makes you clean up someone else's poop, vomit and other bodily fluids without gaging... the kind that makes you wake up in a panic to go feel a new baby to make sure he/she is still breathing, the kind of love that you go days, maybe even months with little sleep and would do it all over again in a heartbeat.) That kind of love is only found in my opinon when you become a parent, so sure I would gladly have my hands full of that kind of love. These days of having your hands full are the days you probably dreamt of (well, somewhat) as a young girl, and will look back on as an old lady with such wonderful memories. These days of having your hands full are some of the best days of your life, and when someone tells you that "your hands are full" just sweetly smile and say "yes they are full of the greatest kind of love in the whole world!"

~Jennifer S. in Good 'Ole Texas

Anonymous said...

You have me laughing so hard. It's so awful when people are so insensitive to what they are saying. They don't realize that their smallest or meaningless comment has an impact to the receiver. I have 3 myself, 17, 13,and a glorious 4 year old, and people are always making comments about how she was a surprise, etc. or I must have my hands full now with the little one. It makes me upset! Some people have actually hinted that she is my 17 y/o's child. SHE GETS LIVID! But anyhow, now I am getting off track...Keep your head up, those people are probably the ones that don't know how to enjoy their children...but we know better. ;)


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