Perfection or Happiness and a few fall touches.

I sit here at my computer with heavy heart; and insecurity in my pointer finger.  Should I push the publish button on this post?

Do I share what I had planned to share today?

or do I share what is in my heart?

Today.  I have to be real and share both.

I had planned to share some of what I have been doing for fall around here.

Last night, I went to bed questioning if I would do that.

I lay there thinking once again about, “Why I blog, and what my blog portrays about me?”

Today I am going to be real with you; I have to get this off my chest before I can move forward with a fall decorating post.

I want you all to understand why I blog, why I love blogging, and what my purpose is.

I blog for 3 specific reasons:

1. First and foremost; I blog for myself. I learn more about who I am by writing and rereading what I have wrote then any hobby I have ever had.

2.  I blog for my family.  I started so our family far away could see what we were doing.  Now, I do it so my kids can have a history of our family, and what we did; in my words.

3. I blog to make friends, to learn from great women, and to hopefully inspire others with what I have learned.

I DO NOT BLOG FOR ANY OTHER REASON.

The purpose of this blog is not to make you believe that I am perfect, or that I live in a perfect world.

Just so you understand why I am on my soap box about this I must share a comment that was left on my blog last night.

The comment said, “It must be exhausting being so perfect.”

The commenter left the comment, and then decided to delete it.  Little did she know that I receive emails about all comments and that can’t be deleted.  Maybe she felt like she just had to say it; and then realized it might sound hurtful.  Which it did.

It made me wonder if that is the image that I am portraying on this blog.

Am I making you think I am perfect?

Believe me when I say that is not my plan at all.

Let me tell you what I believe about perfection.

I believe there is only one way I am ever going to be perfect.  That is through my Savior.  It is through him and his redeeming love that I can be perfect.  I know that in this life, I can never ever be perfect.

I believe that my quest to be happy, may be perceived as a quest to be perfect, and for that I am sorry.  I am sorry if you have perceived my happiness this way. 

Do I want to be perfect?

Yes, I do.  I want to be perfected through my Savior; some day.

For now; I want happiness.

…and that is why I do what I do and share what I love here on my blog.

I decorate my house because it makes me happy during the process and it makes me happy to live in a space whose beauty I helped create. 

I don’t decorate my house because I want our home to look perfect; it never can because we live in it.

I exercise because it does my brain good, and I find happiness in pushing my body. 

I don’t exercise because I want the perfect body.

I plan parties for my kids because it makes them happy; and that in turn makes me happy.

I don’t plan parties that are perfect.  They are far from perfect.

I blog to share what I love.

I don’t blog to make you think I am perfect.

In fact; I blog with the intent that you know that I am real.

I am a real person who makes real mistakes.

Like yesterday when I went to the gym and totally forgot that my daughter had dance.  It broke her heart to find out I forgot about her dance class.  That in turn broke my heart… mom guilt.

…or when I was teaching 15-eight and nine year old girls how to make bread yesterday; and totally forgot where my son told me he was going to play during the process.  Then spent 15 minutes calling neighbors to find out where he had gone. 

YES!! That made me look like the crazy neighbor and mom.

So.. my purpose in this is that you know that I am real.  I make small and large mistakes.

I hope you know that what I share here is more about my happiness; and never about perfection.

Perfection is between you and God.

What I work on within my inner self, who I am striving to become, and the sins I must repent for on a daily basis; are more about striving for perfection. 

…and that kind of perfection really is more between me and my Savior.

It’s not between me and the blogging world.

Nothing I share here can be or ever will be perfect.

So if at anytime you don’t like the content of this blog, that would be a good time to find a blog whose content suits you.  I can only share what brings me happiness, because that is who I am.

On that note:

Fall bring me more happiness than any other time.

Here is how I enjoy that in my happy home:

I think that fall decorating on the outside of the home is the best place to start.

Any one can decorate for fall, by just buying pumpkins, mums and cabbages.

In my case; buying a grundle of pumpkins, mums and cabbages.

I bought so many small pumpkins for indoor decorating, that I decided to paint some of them.

I didn’t want the orange to take away from some of the calm colors of my home.

Painting pumpkins was so fun.  An enjoyable afternoon for sure.

Every cute pumpkin needs your kids initials on them.

I got creative and added some peacock feathers to my fall décor.

 

I feel like peacock feathers and fall pumpkins look great together.

I also finally got around to making my table a runner.

I decided to make a  table runner that is layers stacked one on top of the other.  That way it is so easy to change for the seasons.  It is also a good way to keep your base color the same.  I chose a gray burlap for that.

I kept the fireplace simple; by adding a few painted pumpkins.

Just so you realize all these painted pumpkins are real.

My family has to hold me back when we drive by pumpkin farms.  I really like pumpkins.  They are just so cute.

Pumpkins are part of the reason I love fall.

If you came for a visit this time of year, you would leave my home with this sweet little message about Autumn.

Which is probably so true now that I live in the most northern part of Utah; and it snowed in the mountains here yesterday.

Once again, I thank you for being here.

I thank you for reading my blog.

I thank you for adding to my happiness.

Hello Hello Hello... is anyone out there?

Can I stand on my soapbox?

Is anyone listening?

Can anyone relate? 

Is there anyone out there who thinks there life is more glamorous then mine?

No way.  It couldn't be.

Today, I changed 10 poopy diapers.  Can you say Glamour-filled all the way.  One of those diapers was a blowout.  THANKS TESSA!!

GET YOUR SANTITIZER READY. 

I changed 2 in the Mother's Room at our church.

Another 2 in Burger King with no changing table.   I changed Tess on my lap, and Isaac standing up.  Are you imagining this in your head?  It is pretty hilarious.

2 in the car, with the wind nipping at my heals, and their little bums.

3 in the girls locker room at the high school.  Once again with out a changing table.

1 (THE BLOWOUT) at the hospital that Jonathan works at.  Once again with out a changing table.

Glamorous aye?

I know you are wishing that you had a life JUST like mine.

All the while, counting how many times someone said to me, "You have your hands full."

I don't come to your job and say, man you have your hands full.

The next person that says that to me is going to end up with spit in their face.  Don't believe me? I wouldn't hesitate. Seriously, I am so sick of it. SERIOUSLY.

I really did count how many times.  Would you like to know the final result?

30, thirty, three-zero.

Who cares if I have my hands full.  What are you going to do about it?

Certainly not open a door for me, carry my tray of food to the table, or heaven forbid install a changing table in your public restroom.

What is this world coming too? 

When 4 kids is considered an astronomical amount?

Shame on me for allowing people to make me feel like it is wrong to have that many kids, or that I am just plain weird.  That I don't belong, or I am a social outcast.

I would love to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I would wish that they were thinking, 'Look at her, mother of 4.  That is so wonderful.  Look, they are all dressed nicely, they are behaving wonderfully, and she is out of her pajamas.  She must be a good mom.  Good for her."

I don't always think that is what they are thinking.  I can only HOPE.

I think the looks were worse today.  We went to Jex's baseball tryouts in church clothes,(Jex had changed of course) because we just came from a baptism. 

All of us girls in skirts. 

Picture me at a baseball tryout with a skirt, cute leggings, sparkly shoes, a flower in my hair.

The other moms in jeans, a hoodie, New Balance runners, and sportin' the pony tail. (which is what you would expect)

Then Isaac in a nice button-down shirt and sweater vest.

I swear people thought we were 18 kids and counting.

I would love help in coming up with a really great response for the comment,

"You have your hands full." 

If you have one, Please leave a comment.  The best submission wins a King Size Candy bar of your choice.(make sure I can link back to your blog or email to tell you if you win)

Best Comment will be posted here next week.

What does it mean to have your hands full?  Do they mean my kids are rowdy and a hand full, or that my hands are full because I am carrying a car seat and dragging along a 2 year old?

What is it people?

Is there anything greater in this world to have your hands full with?

So you lovely people who chose to comment on my hands, should think before you speak.

I promise you nobody has a more glamorous life then a mother.

Poop, spit up, bags under the eyes.  Whatever it takes to fill these hands. 

I am up for the challenge, because there is nothing I would rather have my hands full with.  Glamorous as it may be.

There is nothing more wonderful then 8 tiny hands to grab your cheeks at the end of the day and say, "I love you mommy."  Then plant a big old wet one on those tired yet still so glamorous cheeks.

I'll take my full hands any day.  I wouldn't trade them for any other glamorous life. 

You can have your tall mocha lattes.  I will keep my short chocolate covered munchies.