Just keep swimming... swimming... swimming...

These thoughts in my head just keep swimming.  That is why it has been a week since I posted.  I sit down to post and I just can't even put the words together.  There are too many thoughts.

I have recently gone off my anxiety medication(bless that stuff).  If you recall, I started it in the midst of my crazy pregnancy.  I knew that I wouldn't take it forever, and that time had come.

I soon realized  that stuff won't let those little thoughts swim.  It keeps your brain cool and calm.  I would like to say that I am still calm on the outside, but you don't know the in's and out's of the inside of this brain.  I wish I could explain it.

Don't get me wrong.  I think it is a great thing.  I have the ability to get a lot done in a short amount of time.  I am a great multi-tasker.  But Seriously....

Can't I just sit down and relax with out those thoughts prodding me to get up and work on something.

Would it be to much to ask to go to sleep without dreaming in fabric swatches, paint chips, and the next great meal I am going to create.

Oh... I wish there was a balance.  A way to have the calm thought of, "I'll get to that when I am ready, or maybe never."  And feel completely fine with it. 

I also wish that the motivation to get things done was there with the medication.

Where is the balance?  I know that it is something I have to pray for and find on my own.  I am still doing some soul-searching in that area.

I found this balancing idea on flip flops and applesauce.  I really like the concept so I am giving it a try.

{Balance your:} requirements, relationships, and rest

She gives a complete overview of her thoughts on this

here.

If you figure it out a better way, let me know.

I am thankful for paper to jot my thoughts down on.  This allows me to come back to them at a later date.  Which is what I am trying to do today.  It is a day for catching up.

Here is a little peak at the inner workings of my brain.

So... Here is what I have been trying to post about all week.  If it seems a little jumbled to you don't come crying to me.  I gave you the disclaimer.  I told you about the thoughts in my head.  If you can't handle the craziness of it all don't go any further.

The next few posts will be a way to get rid of all the little fishies that are swimming around in this brain of mine.  Hopefully a little writing will do this brain some good, and allow me to capture the happenings of this family on paper, or computer screen.  That reminds me that I need to finish putting my blog in a book for print.  AHHH!! Does it ever end.

However, I do have to say that the smile that I have been wearing is a good reminder to me that I do like to be busy, have projects, and take care of my loved ones.  I haven't seen this SMILE in a while.