While I was sleeping… my house changed colors.

During the time that I was resting either while I was sick or recovering from surgery…  we had exciting things going on in our house.

It was time to take down the wallpaper…

and have the house painted a new fresh color.

In the beginning of January, I painted color swatches all over the walls. My plan was to paint my house during the cold winter months when going outside wasn’t something I looked forward to.  Projects during the winter are always a good thought. Much to my dismay my winter plans didn’t go like I thought they would. 

I had planned on painting the majority of the house on my own with the exception of the great room; which was much to tall for me to tackle without scaffolding and some tall ladders.

Once the painter for the great room was hired, my health went down hill. 

Just days after picking paint colors, I had my appendectomy.

The rooms I had previously determined to paint on my own have since all been done by the painter, or will be in the near future. 

Paint is such a wonderful way to change your house because paint is so inexpensive, and it is something you can do yourself.  Although, this time I am handing over my paintbrush while I regain my health.

It brought me so much happiness while I was sick to be seeing such fun progress going on in the house.

It is amazing how much of a difference paint can make. 

I thought you might enjoy seeing the change:

I think the greatest change is our fireplace.  If you remember the previous owner had wallpapered our fireplace.  Although the wallpaper was modern and unique it just wasn’t my style or taste.  I wanted something much cleaner and brighter.

Fireplace before:

Fireplace After:

As you can see, we brightened up the house with this fun gray color.  The previous color was a warm beige. 

I knew I wanted a cool gray color.

before:

It was pretty easy to decide on the color. 

after:

Grey’s always have an undertone, typically; brown, green, blue or purple. 

I knew I wanted it to be a cool blue gray color; and I chose the cool because I have so much white trim and the turquoise accents.

I chose Sherwin Williams Stonington Gray.

It took a lot of work to reach such high ceilings.

before:

 

I’m glad it wasn’t me with the paintbrush and I hate heights.

after:

I loved how great my piano looks against the paint.

before:

 

I feel like it blends right in with the wall, and looks so sleek.

after:

 

If you remember, I also had the some wallpaper in my kitchen:

Here it is without the paper and a fresh coat of paint.  What a nice change:

I still have more rooms that I am currently waiting to have painted. 

We have hired someone who paints our house after hours and when he is available.

It has saved us so much money, but has also made the process slower.  It has been so helpful since I can’t paint it myself right now.

While I was taking pictures of the new paint job, Tess just had to pose for some pictures.  She made me smile.

You can tell her mom often has a camera around her neck.

Here are a few more examples of how the paint changed the house.  Because of course if you change one thing, you end up changing other things.  You may notice I have moved some things around:

before:

after:

before:

after:

before:

after:

Thanks for coming by.

Lessons learned from my hospital bed–Tender Mercies

I have learned so many lessons over the last few months.  Today I want to share with you one of the greatest lessons I remembered.  It is remembered because I didn’t just learn this lesson; because I already knew it.  I was just simply reminded of it.  I was reminded of God’s love for each us.  I was reminded of how he shows us his love.

One of the ways God shows his love for us is through what has been called Tender Mercies.  Tender Mercies are small evidences of God’s love for us.  John 14:18 says, “ I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”  One of the ways that he comforts us is through those small evidences.  One might say that they are mere coincidences, I like to think of them as the Lord’s assurance that he loves me and will never leave me comfortless.  Our lives are directed in a way to move and bend through different paths that we may comfort one another.  The Lord uses each of us to be the comforter at times.

One moment in our life when I recognized the tender mercies of the Lord happened to be when I had our little baby Stella Grace.

 

I was pregnant with her during a time of great change and transition for our family.  We moved to the Caribbean when I was 5 months pregnant with her.  With 6 weeks left in my pregnancy, I boarded a small airplane bound for Utah with Jex’s 18 month old chubby hand in mine.  I watched my husband out the window of that small plane.  I watched as he got smaller and smaller.  Along with that little island he was standing on; they both became a small speck in the middle of the ocean. Leaving him for 6 weeks was one of the hardest things I had to do.

We both had high hopes that my pregnancy would hold out until he came home to Utah for his semester break.

God had other plans in mind.  At 3:15 one August morning, I had our baby girl, while my husband was on the phone listening miles and miles away.

Jonathan met our sweet angel in the SLC airport for the first time when she was one week old.

During this time, I saw God’s love for me; even when I wanted to shout this isn’t fair.

 

Stella’s birth was complicated and scary.  Had she waited until her daddy was home she may not have survived.

This one singular event sent a chain reaction of many more difficulties; but the blessings that followed far outweighed the trying times.

This time in particular I could see the many paths of others cross my life that were sent as reminders of God’s love; he would not leave me or Jonathan comfortless.

…And then this March I lay in a hospital bed almost 10 years later with the same loving reminder; he would not leave me comfortless. 

Just days before I landed myself back at the hospital, I lay in bed trying to recover from gall bladder surgery.  The pain was intense, little did I know that the pain was not from the surgery at all, but from a complication as a result of the surgery.  My stomach was literally filling up with poison as I lay in my bed.  I would soon come to realize I had over a liter of bile in my abdomen. 

It was while I lay at home in agony, that my dad suggested I read a talk given by one of the leaders of our church.  The talk was titled, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord, by Elder Bednar”  You can read it here if you like.  I had read it many times before, but decided to give it a read again.

Just 3 hours after reading the talk, and pleading with the Lord that he take away my pain, I felt a small prompting enter my mind:

“Andrea, the tender mercy is that your parents are here.  They can stay with your children.  It is time to go back to the hospital.”

I knew at that moment I should no longer stay at home.  That whatever was going on with me required immediate medical attention. 

A few moments after arriving at the hospital, my bro-in-law and sis-in-law came to see me in the ER.  It was then I discovered that my bro-in-law Wes, was the anesthesiologist on call that night. 

That soon proved to be another evidence of God’s love for me. 

There was a time in the ER that I was so scared.  The pain increased and I knew that I needed a major surgery.  Wes was able to help calm my fears through the magic of modern medicine and my IV.

Wes proved to be the aid who helped with my pain over next few days as he helped me through the surgery and then the following day by giving me an epidural to help numb the pain I had.

I know that he was not on-call that weekend by some minor coincidence.  He was the tool the Lord used to show me his love for me.  Wes was sent on the Lord’s errand as the comforter.

The other amazing blessing was the fact this happened on a Saturday night.  Jonathan has Monday’s off so that allowed him to be with me for 2 1/2 days without worrying about his job.  He slept near me, helped me, comforted me, and brought a smile to my face.

I also can’t help but think what a tremendous blessing it was that we were living in Utah near family when this happened.  We have been away for nearly 10 years.  I was certainly being looked out for when just after 7 short months of being here this happened.  Having family around to comfort not only me, but Jonathan and my children during this time proved to be an amazing source of strength.

I am thankful that I took the time to read the talk from Elder Bednar.  It helped my keep such a focused perspective while I was in the hospital.

The reminder that he would not leave me comfortless helped me to draw on his strength over and over through the course of the following days and weeks.

It helped me smile each time a visitor came by; a constant reminder that he loves me.  I knew he sent friends and family to send HIS love.

This love also came through kind texts and phone calls.

…and as the weeks and a whole month has gone by since leaving the hospital, his love still continues to pour down upon me with the many friends, meals and help that has been sent my way.

I know that we are watched over by the many people who surround us.

God certainly puts us on certain paths to bend and weave around each other that we may remind one another of his sweet love and tender mercies.

(Stella’s blessing day September 2004)

Life is not one giant coincidence.  Life is a tangled web of friendship, kindness, comfort, and mercy.

I have felt God’s love for me each and every day since this trial began.

His Tender Mercies really are over all his works.

 

Facing my computer.

I have been home from the hospital for a week today.  While I lay in a hospital bed for 5 days, I constantly thought about this blog.(well and my four little kids that I missed dearly, I thought about them most; but I thought about this blog too) …and don’t get me wrong; I am always thinking about my sweet husband too, but he was right there by my side through it all.  My kids were not allowed to visit at the hospital; 5 days without seeing them seemed like an eternity.

Yes, I thought about how much I missed blogging.  I thought about what I was going to write once I got home.  I thought about how I should write as soon as I got home.  I also thought about how important it was for me to get back here.  I knew this is one of the places that keeps me happy.  It is place for me to share, learn, and grow.  It is also a place for me to share words and photos; which are 2 of my favorite things.  I miss this place. 

So yesterday, I finally got the courage to face my computer.  I was a little nervous.  I was so afraid that it will make me feel melancholy and anxious.  I was afraid that I would beat myself up that I have missed recording so much in the last few months.  I was also afraid that I would feel overwhelmed by the amount of emails, information, and blogs that I haven’t kept up with. 

Then… the strangest thing happened: when I opened my Gmail account it said that I was almost out of space.  After a time consuming event of trying to figure out why; I discovered Google had backed up all my photos.  Google was storing all my photos which was the culprit for taking up all the space.  I needed to delete all of them from the storage, and can I tell you what fun that was for me.  What I looked at as a anxious filled time getting back to my computer ended in an afternoon spent reminiscing and enjoy memories.  It actually sparked the fire under my bottom to get back here.  It made me smile to see amazing pictures from years past and even think about the memories attached to them. 

It reminded me why I blog, why I record, and why I take pictures.

Instead of making myself feel bad for what I have missed over the last few months, this little mishap made me proud and giddy about all the things I have recorded.  I am thankful for that little mistake Google made backing up my photos.  It felt good to see photos that I haven’t seen in a while.  It also put a warm feeling in my heart that reminded me that I do want to be here.  It is time to come back and share at JandA&Co. 

I think all along I have wanted to be here.  Almost everyday, I would think about what I wanted to share.  To be honest with you, I haven’t had the energy and that is what it all comes down too. 

So… here I am.  Happy to be here.  Happy to once again be sharing words and photos.  Happy to see my energy slowly coming back.

I had a hard time trying to decide where to start.  I decided the best place to start is to share the story of where I have been the last few months. 

…and because I have been ill the last few months and I don’t want to share any pictures about that.   I am going to decorate my story with pictures of what my family has been doing all winter while I have been ill.  These are happy pictures, I hope they make you happy too:

 

(All four kids and Jonathan have spent every spare moment skiing this winter.  Jonathan has spent many days taking the kids to the slopes, preparing them for lessons, and helping them learn to ski.  I know this has not been easy for him, and has been a big task to undertake.  I am so thankful because all four of the kids caught the fever, they are excellent skiers, and they love it. Thanks Jonathan for giving them this opportunity.)

So thanks to Jonathan for dedicating your winter to our kids, and also helping me through this trying time.

So… more about this past trial… with pictures of winter skiing mixed in. (because I can’t write without sharing pictures)

Where have I been?

Last time I was here, I shared how I had my appendix out; and then ended up sick again.

I told you I would be having some tests done to figure out what was wrong.

I ended up having lots of test.

 

After weeks of continuously being sick, being poked and prodded, not keeping food down, and loosing pound after pound; they finally decided what was wrong:

My gall bladder.

So on March 6th, I was scheduled for my second stomach surgery in 4 weeks.

I went in for the same day procedure; and woke up in misery.

The nurse and doctor assured me it was just the pain from the surgery and the co2 gas they filled my abdomen with working it’s way out.

I went home to recover, and thought my pain from the surgery would get better with time.

Only the pain just got worse and worse.

After 2 days of hanging out at home in agony; my dad and Jonathan carried me to the car to take me back to the ER.

I spent 7 hours in the ER while they did painful ultrasounds, CT scans, and exams.

At 4a.m. they discovered my abdomen was full of fluid and took me back for an emergent laparotomy.

A laparotomy is a surgery which involves a large incision to gain access into the abdominal cavity. When they told me I would need a laparotomy I didn’t know what that meant.  I could tell by the look on my husbands face that it wasn’t good.

They opened me up and went through every inch of my stomach trying to find out where the fluid was coming from.

Turns out I had a bile leak that was coming from my liver. 

I have 2 accessory bile ducts that most people don’t have and when they detached my gall bladder from my liver they were simply missed because most people don’t have them.

(my neighbor suggested that I stop accessorizing;  ha. ha.  this made me laugh)

Only laughing hurts so bad, so I try not to laugh. Even though laughing brings the sunshine.

This leak was the reason for all my post gall bladder surgery pain.

This is complication that can happen, but doesn’t happen very often.

Following the surgery, I spent 5 more days in the hospital.

Because of how extensive the surgery was, and having 2 surgeries so close together; my pain was intense.

I was given an epidural for 3 days to help get me through the pain.

I was so thankful for that epidural.

I learned a lot about myself during those 5 days in the hospital. 

I hope to share more about what I have learned here on this blog.

It was important for me to first start with the experience.

I am home now.

I have been home for a week now. 

I am still learning a lot about myself.

That is why it is so important for me to be here.

It’s important for me to share the experiences life gives me; and how I grow from them.

When hard things happen we can choose one of two roads.

We can be mad and upset that this kind of stuff happens to us or…

we can find all of the good things that happen to us along the way, and learn lessons from the hard things.

I am choosing to follow the second road.

I hope I can share more of that with you here in the next few weeks.

I am happy to be back here.

Thank you to everyone who offered prayers in my behalf.

Your prayers were felt.

P.S.  Don’t I have the cutest little bunch of skiers ever?

I feel lucky.

I am lucky.

I am happy to be back here facing my computer.

My cape.

I wanted to stop and take a minute here at a place that used to be my second home; and say a little hello.

I have missed this place.

To be honest; I haven’t had the energy, the thoughts, or the brain power to put down the words that I so desperately wanted to.

Last time I blogged I talked about how I had been kicked in the stomach.

Well, I spoke too soon; I was talking about the stomach flu.  Our family experienced the stomach flu like so many of you I am sure.  It took an entire month to work through all six of us.  Between Christmas and the flu it kind of knocked me off my feet.

Then…

Just days after posting that last post.  I really did get kicked in the stomach.  I became ill.

A sick that is far worse then any stomach flu.

The stomach flu goes away after 24 hours; I am going on a few weeks of this. 

After weeks of suffering, trying to live through it, and barely getting anything done; I made a nightly visit to the ER.

They discovered that my appendix was sick and decided to do an appendectomy the following day.

I survived that, and after a week I felt like I was getting back on my feet.

Until, I got kicked again and started with the same stomach ache/back ache all over again.

Tomorrow, I will have another procedure to help determine what may be wrong.

Every. single. day.  I have told myself that I would get up and blog today.  I even have a few posts on my computer that I started.

Every day, I couldn’t find the energy.  I didn’t have the brain power.

I also realize how important it is to share the good and the bad, and I think I would feel bad if their wasn’t something here shared during this trial.  I share these thoughts not so you will feel bad for me, but so you know and understand that I am real.  I have real problems and experiences.  I have sorrow and pain.  I would be remised if I didn’t jot this down for my own good. 

I have been using the energy that I have to take care of what I can around here.

I have been using my energy to figure out who I am.  I feel really lost.

I miss being a good mom.

I miss making meals for my family.

I miss taking care of things for my husband.

I miss serving others.

I miss being here.

Through all of this, I have read many sermons on Enduring to the End.

All of which inspire me to try hard each day to give it what I can.

After a sweet prayer from my husband last night, I realized that this is not my season to be Super Woman.

(I thrive on wearing the cape and getting as much done in a day as I can)

My season right now is to just take care of myself, and rely on the help of others.

It’s also a good time to teach my children how to take care of things.  How to complete the tasks that I do for them so often; without my help.

It’s a time for me to learn that everything doesn’t have to be perfect.

Last night just after the kids had gone to bed, Stella came in my room to ask if I needed anything.

I asked if she would bring me some ice water.

Upon doing so she realized that the dishes need to be unloaded from the dishwasher and loaded from the sink to the dishwasher.

She took care of that for me.  It was a humble reminder that my kids do notice what I do; and how I don’t like to go to bed with dishes in the the sink.

I am thankful that somewhere along the way Stella learned about service.  She learned how good it can make her feel.

With so much down time, I am trying to focus less on their physical needs and more on there emotional needs.

I may not be able to cook them glorious meals but  I can spend all the time in the world laying on my bed talking to them.  I am trying to do more of that.

I pray that I can soon return to my cape.  I like being healthy.

Although, I have learned that I don’ t  have to wear the cape everyday. 

Some times, it’s ok to pass the cape on to someone else.

Thanks for being here and reading my thoughts.  I pray that I have the energy to be here more often.

Thanks to all of you who have reached out to me; just to make sure I am ok.

 

missing and memories

I can’t believe how long it has been since I blogged.

I can list off the many excuses, but you don’t want to hear that.

Lets just say life kicked me in the tail, and the stomach last month.

I am back on my feet, and hopefully getting back into a routine.

I finally took my Christmas decorations down yesterday. 

That is the latest date on record for the Swenson family.

But when you get kicked, you get kicked; and it takes a minute to get back on your feet.

We had a nice Christmas.  It was different for us the year. 

We have never been able to celebrate with family before.  EVER. 

It was a nice change, and a busy change.  With the stomach flu involved for all, it made it all the more busy.

It was a great change to share the memories with our family.

It’s wonderful that kids don’t care about all the fuss, they just want the magic.

We certainly believe in the magic of Christmas around here.

Regardless of how crazy, busy,  or nauseas Christmas is; kids bring the magic.

OK, I need to get on track.  All I really wanted to do with this post is drop in and say hi, share my favorite holiday memories…

oh, and leave you with our Christmas card and greetings which should have come much sooner from me.

But hey!  You do it when you can, with no guilt involved. 

I am striving this year to just enjoy my life, do what I can do, and leave the guilt behind.

OK.

HI.

It’s good to be here.

Here is the picture story of my favorite holiday memories:

…and my Merry Christmas greetings:

I mean New Year greetings.

See you soon.