Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My cape.

I wanted to stop and take a minute here at a place that used to be my second home; and say a little hello.

I have missed this place.

To be honest; I haven’t had the energy, the thoughts, or the brain power to put down the words that I so desperately wanted to.

Last time I blogged I talked about how I had been kicked in the stomach.

Well, I spoke too soon; I was talking about the stomach flu.  Our family experienced the stomach flu like so many of you I am sure.  It took an entire month to work through all six of us.  Between Christmas and the flu it kind of knocked me off my feet.

Then…

Just days after posting that last post.  I really did get kicked in the stomach.  I became ill.

A sick that is far worse then any stomach flu.

The stomach flu goes away after 24 hours; I am going on a few weeks of this. 

After weeks of suffering, trying to live through it, and barely getting anything done; I made a nightly visit to the ER.

They discovered that my appendix was sick and decided to do an appendectomy the following day.

I survived that, and after a week I felt like I was getting back on my feet.

Until, I got kicked again and started with the same stomach ache/back ache all over again.

Tomorrow, I will have another procedure to help determine what may be wrong.

Every. single. day.  I have told myself that I would get up and blog today.  I even have a few posts on my computer that I started.

Every day, I couldn’t find the energy.  I didn’t have the brain power.

I also realize how important it is to share the good and the bad, and I think I would feel bad if their wasn’t something here shared during this trial.  I share these thoughts not so you will feel bad for me, but so you know and understand that I am real.  I have real problems and experiences.  I have sorrow and pain.  I would be remised if I didn’t jot this down for my own good. 

I have been using the energy that I have to take care of what I can around here.

I have been using my energy to figure out who I am.  I feel really lost.

I miss being a good mom.

I miss making meals for my family.

I miss taking care of things for my husband.

I miss serving others.

I miss being here.

Through all of this, I have read many sermons on Enduring to the End.

All of which inspire me to try hard each day to give it what I can.

After a sweet prayer from my husband last night, I realized that this is not my season to be Super Woman.

(I thrive on wearing the cape and getting as much done in a day as I can)

My season right now is to just take care of myself, and rely on the help of others.

It’s also a good time to teach my children how to take care of things.  How to complete the tasks that I do for them so often; without my help.

It’s a time for me to learn that everything doesn’t have to be perfect.

Last night just after the kids had gone to bed, Stella came in my room to ask if I needed anything.

I asked if she would bring me some ice water.

Upon doing so she realized that the dishes need to be unloaded from the dishwasher and loaded from the sink to the dishwasher.

She took care of that for me.  It was a humble reminder that my kids do notice what I do; and how I don’t like to go to bed with dishes in the the sink.

I am thankful that somewhere along the way Stella learned about service.  She learned how good it can make her feel.

With so much down time, I am trying to focus less on their physical needs and more on there emotional needs.

I may not be able to cook them glorious meals but  I can spend all the time in the world laying on my bed talking to them.  I am trying to do more of that.

I pray that I can soon return to my cape.  I like being healthy.

Although, I have learned that I don’ t  have to wear the cape everyday. 

Some times, it’s ok to pass the cape on to someone else.

Thanks for being here and reading my thoughts.  I pray that I have the energy to be here more often.

Thanks to all of you who have reached out to me; just to make sure I am ok.

 

26 comments:

happy_wife said...

I'm sorry to hear you and your family have been having such a rough winter. I will pray for peace and recovery for you all. And although you feel guilty hanging up your cape for a while, you family helping one another, loving one another while you are not feeling well just tells me that your cape probably isn't hung up or passed to someone else....it's probably just tucked into your jammies where you can't see it.

Hope you feel well soon!
jane

Candice said...

I'm so sorry! I sure hope they find out what's wrong soon. I'm sure you must be so frustrated! I love how you're looking for the positives in this trial! My prayers are with you!

Our Little Hatch Family !!! said...

Oh Andrea...I am so very sorry...having a sick family is so hard, but when mom is down for what may seem like forever, with pain & illness...it is twice as difficult and frustrating...hang in there. I pray that you are blessed with relief and good health soon, this season has been a rough one all around. I am so grateful for our sweet daughters who pick up on the little things, and for our children who continue to love us even when we are not able to be everywhere at once! I am grateful you are living closer to extended family, and pray they have been able to assist you in your difficult trial...You are in my thoughts and prayers...Get Well Soon!

julie said...

I pray for your speedy recovery. When times get hard, like this, it always throws you back on yourself and gives you this time to reflect on you and your life.
We miss you not being here Andrea, but I think you should take a back seat, rest and take good care of yourself, for once!
I'm always so amazed at all you achieve and accomplish, you try so hard. We all really appreciate the work you put into your life as we all get to read about it on your blog. We also need to know that your health and happiness is not compromised because of this.
I am sorry you're so unwell.
Please take great care of yourself, God bless x

Jamie said...

I just happened upon your blog and wanted to see what you were up to. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through so much lately. Sending hugs and prayers! :)

KW said...

Praying for you. Even when you are down you are still doing more than you probably realize!

Colleen said...

Oh Andrea, I am so sorry to hear this. Hoping you start to feel better soon. I know the feeling of wearing that cape and it's a tough role to fill all of the time. Take time for you and take care of yourself.

Amy said...

So sorry to hear! Praying for you.

Marji Jim Anderson said...

I'm sure you will have your "cape" on again soon! I hope you figure out what is going on and get back to yourself. It was great to catch up with you yesterday. We miss having ya'll around! If I were in Logan I'd bring you a coke zero from Sonic! Love and hugs from Arkansas

Whitney said...

ugh feel better! And stop with the pressure of being a good mom. You are an awesome mom. We all have our little moments. Take care of yourself first! Good luck mama!

Eileen said...

Well, that is NOT fun! Get better. But forget about the cape for a bit. Others need blessings and joy in serving you. Don't deny!

JPAmom said...

I was so excited to see your new post and then saddened to read that you have been sick. Praying for healing and renewed energy!!

Isaiah 40:31

Michelle said...

Oh, dear friend, I had been wondering if everything was all right. . . I'm sad to hear that things have been so hard! I love your honesty in sharing. I also love your perspective in looking at the good side -- taking care of your children's emotional needs. Sometimes those are the best times, when you're forced to be still and have many quiet moments. Reach for heaven! I will be praying for you to be healed very soon.

Becky said...

I knew something was seriously wrong when you dropped out of the blogosphere! I hope they can get things figured out for you. It is SOOO hard to be the one who needs to be served when you're used to doing the servin'. Hang in there, lady! And remember, just because your cape isn't "flying" these days doesn't mean it's not useful! ;)

Stella said...

I have been missing you and with the idea of sending you an e-mail I noticed your post. I am so so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. Hopefully the doctors will find out what it is that keeps you from full recovering. Thinking of you often. These are tough times. Thank you so much for spending your energy to write this post and let us know how you are. Thinking of you and sending love and prayers...XX

Amanda B said...

I have been thinking about you daily and clicking on your blog to see if you are ok.. sorry that things are not going as well as usual, but I know god has a plan for you all and because you have always served others, the time has come to be served. Just know you are loved and cherished and you have installed amazing ethics into your family. Keep your chin up, god bless amanda and family from australia xx

melanie liljenquist said...

So Sorry Your not feeling well. I hope they find out what's wrong. I wish you a speedy recovery. You will be in my thoughts and Prayers!!

Melanie Liljenquist

Joseph L. said...

Oh, Andrea! Yuck!! I'm so sorry you've been ill - I hope everything evens out soon and you get it figured out and on your way to healthy. You're an amazing woman - thanks for inspiring me, even when you aren't feeling your best. Sending you lots of love and prayers!

Tara said...

okay, that was from ME, not my husband!!!! (I'd feel a little weird if he was sending love your way!) :D

Creative Cole said...

Oh NOO! I am so sorry you have been so ill! I will keep you in my prayers.
I know what the 6 month sickness is like. We went through the same thing a few years ago. I thought, "will this EVER end?" It was so difficult and challenging for me-physically and emotionally. I thought it would never end. I was so spent and thought, "I wouldn't wish this on anyone". I got to a point that I prayed to HF and said "Ok, what is it you will have me learn?" And be patient in His timing. But wow, what a trial!
I hope things get better for you soon! Take care :)

Carrie said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been sick.
I pray that you feel better soon. <3

Holly said...

I hope you feel better soon Andrea! We have definitely missed you in the blogging world but you just focus on healing! Hugs to you & your family!

Pam said...

I totally echo Kristin's comment, you are accomplishing more than you realize! Praying for you and hope they get you feeling better soon

Pam said...

I totally echo Kristin's comment, you are accomplishing more than you realize! Praying for you and hope they get you feeling better soon

Kari said...

I know the feeling of being sick and not knowing what's wrong. I felt sick for almost a year and it took me 6 months to get better after I found out what it was. Take care of yourself! I took my kids out of extra activities and team sports for and they were fine. I also hired cleaners! You've been through a lot of changes and stress. Sometimes your body lets you know when it's time to slow down! Hope you get better soon!

Alison Woods said...

I was wondering where you were! Good to hear from you. Take care.

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