Thursday, March 20, 2014

Facing my computer.

I have been home from the hospital for a week today.  While I lay in a hospital bed for 5 days, I constantly thought about this blog.(well and my four little kids that I missed dearly, I thought about them most; but I thought about this blog too) …and don’t get me wrong; I am always thinking about my sweet husband too, but he was right there by my side through it all.  My kids were not allowed to visit at the hospital; 5 days without seeing them seemed like an eternity.

Yes, I thought about how much I missed blogging.  I thought about what I was going to write once I got home.  I thought about how I should write as soon as I got home.  I also thought about how important it was for me to get back here.  I knew this is one of the places that keeps me happy.  It is place for me to share, learn, and grow.  It is also a place for me to share words and photos; which are 2 of my favorite things.  I miss this place. 

So yesterday, I finally got the courage to face my computer.  I was a little nervous.  I was so afraid that it will make me feel melancholy and anxious.  I was afraid that I would beat myself up that I have missed recording so much in the last few months.  I was also afraid that I would feel overwhelmed by the amount of emails, information, and blogs that I haven’t kept up with. 

Then… the strangest thing happened: when I opened my Gmail account it said that I was almost out of space.  After a time consuming event of trying to figure out why; I discovered Google had backed up all my photos.  Google was storing all my photos which was the culprit for taking up all the space.  I needed to delete all of them from the storage, and can I tell you what fun that was for me.  What I looked at as a anxious filled time getting back to my computer ended in an afternoon spent reminiscing and enjoy memories.  It actually sparked the fire under my bottom to get back here.  It made me smile to see amazing pictures from years past and even think about the memories attached to them. 

It reminded me why I blog, why I record, and why I take pictures.

Instead of making myself feel bad for what I have missed over the last few months, this little mishap made me proud and giddy about all the things I have recorded.  I am thankful for that little mistake Google made backing up my photos.  It felt good to see photos that I haven’t seen in a while.  It also put a warm feeling in my heart that reminded me that I do want to be here.  It is time to come back and share at JandA&Co. 

I think all along I have wanted to be here.  Almost everyday, I would think about what I wanted to share.  To be honest with you, I haven’t had the energy and that is what it all comes down too. 

So… here I am.  Happy to be here.  Happy to once again be sharing words and photos.  Happy to see my energy slowly coming back.

I had a hard time trying to decide where to start.  I decided the best place to start is to share the story of where I have been the last few months. 

…and because I have been ill the last few months and I don’t want to share any pictures about that.   I am going to decorate my story with pictures of what my family has been doing all winter while I have been ill.  These are happy pictures, I hope they make you happy too:

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201417of32hazeframe_zps1cbcfc68.jpg 

(All four kids and Jonathan have spent every spare moment skiing this winter.  Jonathan has spent many days taking the kids to the slopes, preparing them for lessons, and helping them learn to ski.  I know this has not been easy for him, and has been a big task to undertake.  I am so thankful because all four of the kids caught the fever, they are excellent skiers, and they love it. Thanks Jonathan for giving them this opportunity.)

So thanks to Jonathan for dedicating your winter to our kids, and also helping me through this trying time.

So… more about this past trial… with pictures of winter skiing mixed in. (because I can’t write without sharing pictures)

Where have I been?

Last time I was here, I shared how I had my appendix out; and then ended up sick again.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201421of32haze2_zps256e6357.jpg

I told you I would be having some tests done to figure out what was wrong.

I ended up having lots of test.

 photo jexblaine_zpsb8be270b.jpg 

After weeks of continuously being sick, being poked and prodded, not keeping food down, and loosing pound after pound; they finally decided what was wrong:

My gall bladder.

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So on March 6th, I was scheduled for my second stomach surgery in 4 weeks.

I went in for the same day procedure; and woke up in misery.

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The nurse and doctor assured me it was just the pain from the surgery and the co2 gas they filled my abdomen with working it’s way out.

I went home to recover, and thought my pain from the surgery would get better with time.

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Only the pain just got worse and worse.

After 2 days of hanging out at home in agony; my dad and Jonathan carried me to the car to take me back to the ER.

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I spent 7 hours in the ER while they did painful ultrasounds, CT scans, and exams.

At 4a.m. they discovered my abdomen was full of fluid and took me back for an emergent laparotomy.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201431of32_zps6d9527ed.jpg

A laparotomy is a surgery which involves a large incision to gain access into the abdominal cavity. When they told me I would need a laparotomy I didn’t know what that meant.  I could tell by the look on my husbands face that it wasn’t good.

They opened me up and went through every inch of my stomach trying to find out where the fluid was coming from.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201423of32_zps952ce88e.jpg

Turns out I had a bile leak that was coming from my liver. 

I have 2 accessory bile ducts that most people don’t have and when they detached my gall bladder from my liver they were simply missed because most people don’t have them.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201424of32_zps83f4f032.jpg

(my neighbor suggested that I stop accessorizing;  ha. ha.  this made me laugh)

Only laughing hurts so bad, so I try not to laugh. Even though laughing brings the sunshine.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201426of32_zpsca49aeb8.jpg

This leak was the reason for all my post gall bladder surgery pain.

This is complication that can happen, but doesn’t happen very often.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201419of32_zps02b5ddee.jpg

Following the surgery, I spent 5 more days in the hospital.

Because of how extensive the surgery was, and having 2 surgeries so close together; my pain was intense.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary20145of32_zps67f6df1f.jpg

I was given an epidural for 3 days to help get me through the pain.

I was so thankful for that epidural.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary20146of32_zpscd228de6.jpg

I learned a lot about myself during those 5 days in the hospital. 

I hope to share more about what I have learned here on this blog.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary20147of32_zps98b69355.jpg

It was important for me to first start with the experience.

I am home now.

I have been home for a week now. 

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary201413of32bw_zps88518f6a.jpg

I am still learning a lot about myself.

That is why it is so important for me to be here.

It’s important for me to share the experiences life gives me; and how I grow from them.

 photo KidsSkiingJanuary20149of32_zps2d6c5f68.jpg

When hard things happen we can choose one of two roads.

We can be mad and upset that this kind of stuff happens to us or…

we can find all of the good things that happen to us along the way, and learn lessons from the hard things.

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I am choosing to follow the second road.

I hope I can share more of that with you here in the next few weeks.

I am happy to be back here.

Thank you to everyone who offered prayers in my behalf.

Your prayers were felt.

 photo edits19_zps6cc18e86.jpg

P.S.  Don’t I have the cutest little bunch of skiers ever?

I feel lucky.

I am lucky.

I am happy to be back here facing my computer.


valerie said...

so glad you are back and recovering. Ive missed you!

valerie said...

so glad you are back and recovering. Ive missed you!

Melissa said...

I can't wait to hear about your experiences and what you have learned! I have been thinking about you and glad you are on the uphill!

Melissa Jenkins ( amber woodruff sis in law!)

katie@tulsadetails said...

I was wondering where you had been! Bless your heart! Glad you're doing better!!!

Jo Jo said...

Well that certainly explains a lot! Recover well, rest lots, and relax! Blogging fits all those requirements!

Our Little Hatch Family !!! said...

Oh My Goodness...I am SOO very grateful they were able to find out what was wrong...I am so very grateful you are back...You have been in my thoughts & prayers... after your last post, you had me worried my friend...I am so glad you are home & beginning your recovery...I hope & pray that each day brings a little more relief, less pain & a brighter hope that your are in the light at the very end of that long terrible trial... as you recover...Hang in there...I am so very Glad & Grateful you are okay...Truly I Am...My thoughts & prayers are with you & your beautiful family always!

JK Creates said...

Welcome back Andrea! I have been praying for you and I am so happy to see that you are feeling better!
And yes!!!, you have a cute bunch of skiers! :)

Greg, Heather and Family..... said...

I am sorry you have had such a difficult few months. I hope you are on your way to a speedy recovery. I love reading your blog, its real, its inspiring. You do a great job. Get well fast!


Michelle said...

What a tough, tough experience. Some of those prayers you felt were from me!! I've been so worried! Still am! I hope that you do find healing through writing about how things are going now. I know it has really helped me sometimes. Loved the skiing pictures -- that is awesome that they'll have those memories now (not to mention skillz! :).
Miss you so much. Wish I could be there to lighten your load as you recover!

Marji Jim Anderson said...

you do have the cutest skiing family ever! I am so glad you are recovering and alive! Love you!

Emma said...

Oh my! I am so sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and choosing to be positive. I needed to be reminded of this. I hope you heal quickly.

AndreaWasson831 said...

I'm so glad to see an update. Have been so worried about you! I have prayed for you and your family - I'm so sorry you've been so sick, but pray you're on the mend. Take care of yourself and I know those kiddos are well cared for. How fun to have Dad teach them to ski....memories to last a lifetime.

Carrie said...

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that but I'm glad they found out what was wrong. I hope you're feeling like your normal self soon <3

piece of mind said...

Im sorry for what u've been thru...but i believe it will make u take care of urself! N im happy to see u back here!

Amanda B said...

hello from australia, you have been missed, your stories have been missed, your photos, your loving, your decoration, well everything. have thought of you often and hoped that God would get you all through whatever it was (now we know) and so thankful you are on the road to recovery. Take your time getting back to your happy place, we'll always be here for you. much love amanda and family xx

April said...

So glad you are back and recovering well! How scary to have to go back into surgery! Thankful God was watching over you! I have missed your posts!

julie said...

Oh my goodness, what a horrific time you've had, wow, poor you. I'm so very glad you are, at last, on the road to recovery and slowly getting back to "normal".
I'm sure I'm not alone when I say you have really been missed here. I'm so happy to have you and your beautiful family back, photos are brilliant, as always :)
Looking forward to your next pressure there then!!
God bless, and prayers coming from England to you x

KW said...

Well you must be feeling a little better! Glad to see you posting. Can't wait to get up there and come see you, I just hope I can get Hank feeling better before then so we will all be happy!

Amy said...

So happy to see that you are back! Looking froward to hearing what you've learned through your experiences over these past few months. Welcome back! :)

Kristin said...

Great to see you back on your blog! Wonderful to hear that you are feeling better. All the best to you :)

Jaron said...

YUCK!! I have thought of you the last few weeks, wondering what all was keeping you from the blog. I am so glad you're on the downward slope of it all!! Haha...I just saw that someone else said they were glad you were on the upward slope. Guess we're all thinking in terms of slopes thanks to your cute pics. :)

Elaine said...

You are such an inspiration! Thank you for posting! I have been wondering about you! Glad you are on the road to recovery!

Anonymous said...

Eeeks, I can comment now! How cool. Your blog is beautiful, Andrea. I hope you are recovering! Hugs.

Leslie Posey said...

Love your cute little skiers! ! I'm glad you are finally starting the slow but sure process of recovering..we will continue to keep you in our prayers and hope for a more speedy/healthy recovery.. wish I could be there helping you out! Love ya friend

KT said...

I came over to see what you've been up to, and found out you've had a rough winter! Hopefully everything is healing now, and you're on the way to recovery. Spring is here.
We'll be moving this year, and I want to borrow your framed places of where you've lived idea. It makes me happy to think of all the places we've loved. Thanks for sharing.
Katie W. (OP1)

KT said...

I came over to see what you've been up to, and found out you've had a rough winter! Hopefully everything is healing now, and you're on the way to recovery. Spring is here.
We'll be moving this year, and I want to borrow your framed places of where you've lived idea. It makes me happy to think of all the places we've loved. Thanks for sharing.
Katie W. (OP1)

Jill said...

You've been missed, and I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. However, I'm very thankful that you are beginning to heal! Praying for you today!


Colleen said...

oh Andrea, Im so sorry to hear all that you have been through. I really hope you are on the mend. Hugs!

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