Monday, June 8, 2015

Mom Guilt…

It isn’t worth it.

but…

we all have it.

I am sitting here at my blog sharing one of the greatest lessons I have learned during this period of recovery from my last surgery.  I think it’s something God has been trying to teach me for a while now.  It’s finally starting to sink in.

This is one of my “What I have learned posts.” When I share these, I hope it helps you on your path as well.  God is always trying to teach us something.  Just like we try to teach our own kids.  I feel the desire to share in hopes that what God teaches me; might help others too.

What I have learned:

It’s all about mom guilt.

It’s not even easy for me to be here typing away.  My back and neck don’t really appreciate it, but I needed to do something today that made me feel like me again.  So here I am.  I’ll make sure to take a nap when I’m finished.

This last year has been a year full of mom guilt.

For many many reasons.

I am transitioning into older children who want bigger boundaries.

It is hard to say Yes all the time.

When I say No, I feel the guilt come on.

So, I’m learning and I’m growing.

Last year, I felt so much guilt while I was sick, and then trying to recover from 3 surgeries.  It was 5 months of not being the mom I like or wish to be.

Right Now.

My mom guilt, is all about wasted summer days.

I hate wasting summer days.  We really only have a limited number of summers with our kids before they are gone.

I am still trying to recover from my neck surgery that I had 11 days ago.

While I recover, I feel like I am wasting away those days.

Then…

I watch my kids from the window play outside, and run through the sprinkler, play night games with friends, and go to the movies with neighbors.

They are having a great summer.

I have to let go of the mom guilt, and remember that I can’t be on top of it all the time.

I don’t always have to be the party planner.

I found this quote that helped:

guilt 2 copy

I can’t necessarily get on with much work at the moment, but I am making big plans in my head.

…and most importantly loving them, because isn’t that really the work?

…and I have great neighbors, sisters, and friends; who help party plan too.

Mom guilt can come on at it’s worst when we see our neighbors, siblings, and friends, doing with their kids what we can’t with our own. 

We read blogs, and browse Pinterest, and Instagram.  We see parties, crafts, and games, posted that make us feel guilty because we are not doing them.

That is Satan’s greatest tool.

I recently realized, and I am accepting more and more how much I need my friends, family, and neighbors.  I can’t do it all. 

I need their help to carpool, or watch my kids for a minute.

These same friends, sisters, and neighbors, have made meals for my family when I can’t.

….and.  ….and

Most importantly, I have cried on their shoulders.  They have listened to me.

They have even answered hard mothering questions for me.

They have given me ideas or solutions that have worked for them in their own families.

Our friends, neighbors, and siblings, can be the greatest support network we have as mothers.

Satan uses our guilt to make it seem as though they are not.

He tells us we are not as good as them, we can’t keep up with them, or they are better at everything.

Well guess what…

Satan is a liar.  The biggest liar I know.

I found this quote, and I believe it to be true:

Support System copy

So to my friends, neighbors, and family, who have supported me through this recent trial and all of them in between; thank you.

I thank you for being my support system.  I am grateful for the eyes to see that God wants us to rely on one another; even when it’s hard to accept that we can’t do it on our own.  God wants us to celebrate our differences, and even rely on them.  If we were all good at the same thing, then how could we help one another?

NO MORE GUILT.

Thank you for letting me rely on you.

Thank you for making my kids summer awesome; and helping me let go of what I can’t do right now.

Thank you for checking in on me.

Thank you for your texts, emails, and cards.

I am doing well.  I am still in recovery mode and might be for a while.

I am happy to say that the surgery seemed to help my problem.  Time will tell further as the pain from the the actual surgery subsides.

Thank you for coming here to my blog, and being my friend.

You are a part of my support system.

Let’s promise each other today, that we will let go of all the mom guilt.

Family destroyed2 copy

Mom guilt is Satan’s tool, not God’s tool.

Let’s rely on each other more, and judge each other less.

I will not let Satan destroy my self-worth or my support system through that nasty word called guilt.

….and that is what I have learned.

3 comments:

Leslie Posey said...

Great words of wisdom andrea! I hope you recover quickly and get back to YOU! we will continue to pray for you and your family! ! ♡ ya

Eileen said...

Much love!

AndreaW831 said...

Been worried about you since I hadn't seen an update. Continued prayers for healing and recovery. It sounds like the kids are doing great.

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