As mothers, we often think of all of the things that we are not doing; or I could have done that better. This is good and bad. It is bad because often times we are just to hard on ourselves, yet is good because we take the time to improve on something.
Last night, as I was laying in bed, I had an AH HA moment. I thought about how important it is that I take the time to think about the good I did today instead of ALWAYS on what I could do better.
I realized that yesterday's happenings really could have pushed me over the edge. Five years ago, they probably would have. However, yesterday I must say that I handled my day with grace and love. I am giving myself a pat on the back.
You see, I took Isaac to the doctor yesterday for his 15 month well check appointment. I was dreading it because he is really stubborn. He hates people to touch him for what he feels are unnecessary purposes. Don't you dare clip my toes, or wipe my face. How was the doctor going to do all that prodding? I knew this would not be fun.
The beginning of the visit started with a 1 hour wait in the waiting room. I found a nice person to chat with which helped to ease some of my anxiousness, because I am the least bit patient.
Once we were called back, Isaac was extremely mad. He
remembered this place. OH GREAT!!
Then how dare I lay him down on the bed that is covered in noisy sterile paper. If that wasn't irritating enough for him, he was even more mad when the nurse tried to get his measurements.
After all the routine was complete, we waited
patiently in the room for the doctor. Actually we waited anxiously, Stella was ready to go; she was hungry. Isaac just wanted out of the room, and he was going to hit every wall until he found a way out.
Once the doctor came in she went through the normal routine, only it wasn't normal because Isaac screamed all the way through. Now, this is where I really deserve the pat on the back. I did not feel anxious one bit. I patiently loved him, held him, and kept it together as I talked to the doctor about his milestones. In fact, I don't think I once thought about his screaming, at all.
When I only had Jex, I think I would have been a little crazy if he did that to me. Back then, I think I was so worried about what kind of mother the doctor thought I was. If my baby is crying, I couldn't possibly be a good mother. Boy, did I have a lot to learn.
So... I went about my business through all of the crying. She did the normal checkup, he screamed and then..... she tried to look in his throat. She hit is gag reflex(we have a really bad one in our family, gag easily, if you know what I mean), and he threw up all over me. Curdled milk, and peanut butter crackers no less. YUM!! Did I smell delicious. All this time, I was so patient, still kindly loving my son who was no doubt upset after all this. I was a good mommy today. I left the doctors office covered in throw up, and I still looked great; because I was happy. I did not let this ruin my day.
The fun did not end there, because we still had to have shots. Stella and I were also having a flu shot. Now if any of you know Stella, she gets queasy at this sort of thing. I really have to watch her, because she has a tendency to pass out. However, I was a good mommy again, and I remembered that. I watched her very closely, and tried to tend to her every need. She did much better this time, I think because I was aware.
So... shots, probable passing out, screaming, throwing up, hunger pains... and I still have a huge smile on my face. What happened to me? In the past, I would have gone home thinking that I just had the worst day. I think I must be growing up.
The day ended with me covered in a rash as a side effect from the flu shot I received earlier. It couldn't have ended any better.... but I still had that smile on my face when my hubby walked through the door after 14 hours at the hospital; because I missed him. I was glad he was home.
I am glad I stopped to think about what I did right. It never would have dawned on me that I am getting better at the little every day trials that I run in to. I am thankful that I am improving at my job of motherhood. I also thank God for the patience he granted me yesterday.