Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Middle Child...

Do you ever find yourself cruising along in life, and then you have an Epiphany? Moments when you finally realize why life is the way it is, or reasons why your children are the way they are?

Well I must be honest here... sometimes I find myself going crazy during the day. My little companion who happens to be four just can't ask enough questions, she can't spend enough time with me, and she certainly can't soak up enough of my knowledge. At times, I find that it is so draining. I have been praying for her and I have to have a better relationship over the last few weeks... and I just haven't been able to put my finger on what makes her more demanding then the others. Then... it came to me.I was able to go with her on her class field trip. We went to a pumpkin patch. It was a nice day, but when we got home I realized something. Had I really enjoyed the day with her, or was I so wrapped up in making sure that Isaac was okay? It dawned on me, she is starving for attention. Ever since Isaac was born, she has been lost in the mix. I am always dealing with his needs, and then focusing on Jex when he gets home. Oh, poor Stella.

I must give myself some sort of credit. I do make an effort to spend quality time with her during the day. However, I don't think that is enough. I should have left Isaac with a babysitter, and just went with her on HER field trip. I need to take the time to recognize Stella for what she truly is. What she is, and what she wants to be is the spitting image of me. My daughter who wants nothing more in this life then to be a Mother. She asks me on a regular basis, "Mom will you teach me that so I can do that when I am a mother?" Could you ask for anything more?

After Monday, I have made an effort to truly understand her, and work on our mommy skills together. I hope to recognize her for who she is, not just the child who happens to fall in the middle, and quite often gets overlooked. On Monday, we made Granola, she really was a big helper. On Tuesday, we made these butterflies together, and then she wanted to hang them from her bed, so we did. We also made her Halloween Costume together(this is a beautiful TuTu), wait until you see it on. She has picked to be Fancy Nancy, for Halloween.It is taking effort, but I am trying to remind myself that she does need more nurturing, she is four(a demanding age), and she wants nothing more then to be my best friend; there is nothing wrong with that.

So.. my ears may get tired, and my brain may pop from all the questions, but I am going to soak up this time with my beautiful daughter and teach her everything I know. In a few years... she will want nothing to do with me.

9 comments:

Krysta said...

That is such a sweet post! She does have an amazing role model...no wonder she wants to be just like you! I'm struggling right now too with spending time with each of my kids and making sure they have what they need individually from me. I wish we had more time!!! The one that is starving for my attention right now is Drew.

You are doing a great job! You're right, soon enough she is going to have other things to do. It makes me miss my Kaylee...many days she would rather be with her friends...so sad! Love you!

Stephanie said...

I totally understand how you feel. This is a challange. You are a wonderful mom! One I admire so much. I would love to talk to your sister about flowers. It's hard for me to quote an exact price without knowing what she wants. But, I always hear that I am quite a bit less than other places (I don't have as much overhead). If she's interested, have her call me!

The DeVito's said...

That is such a sweet post. I love the pictures. I've really been trying to do this with Bella this week. Sometimes I think that because she's a baby, I can plop her down with a toy and get stuff done. I've realized between, trying to run a business, be a wife, run a house, take care of Bella, I don't make time to really spend with her. I'm really trying to make that effort and enjoy her and let the house not be spotless. I can't imagine what will happen with more than one kid!

HLFackrell said...

I love those aha moments. They are so enlightening.

Becky and Jaron Brunson Family said...

You're an amazing mom of many talents, Andrea. Sweet little Stella! I can't believe she's already 4!! I can vividly remember her toddling around behind Jex out on the playground as a two year old. Was it really that long ago?

Kristie said...

thank you for sharing this post. i have felt similar emotions with my daughter and i have to remind myself that she and i have things in common that my son and husband will never share with her. girls need lots of bonding i guess ...

Emily said...

What a great post. Stella is so darling. Loved the pictures.

Michelle said...

Okay, maybe this is my favorite! HA!
You just have such a gift for presenting pictures and words that uplift and bring the Spirit.
Stella is delightful! It seemed to take a while for her to warm up to me, but I love it now when I say hi to her at church and she gives me that sweet, gorgeous smile. :)

Donna said...

Stella is such a beautiful child. One of my four children needed far more snuggling, explanations and time than my others. I just think that was her personality. She grew up to be a multi-talented person... extremely bright, funny, a published author, a teacher and an actress with a beautiful voice. And did I mention she is an extrordinary stay-at-home mother of three now?

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