For the last 5 years, I have worked hard to be a deliberate mother.
I stumbled on an article that talked about deliberate mothering years ago, and I said; “I want to do that.”
That kind of mothering fits my personality.
Deliberate mothering can mean different things to different people.
My definition is:
“Being a mother who has a purpose behind everything I say and do, providing them with teaching moments during any occasion I can find, and then following through with promises I make or discipline I enforce.”
Am I perfect at it all the time?
Um… That’s a big fat NO!!
The last few years I have failed miserably in this area during the summer.
I blame moving from Arkansas to Pennsylvania during summer fail number 1.(2012)
..and moving from Pennsylvania to Utah during summer fail number 2.(2013)
I will admit that I made promises that I didn’t keep. I had great intentions, but my mistake was not knowing what lie ahead.
No one can know what lies ahead when you are moving to a new state, neighborhood, or home.
So lesson learned. Don’t make promises for the unknown.
Saying things like, “I don’t know honey; we will have to see when we get there.”
That would have been something I should have done.
Instead, I laid out an entire summer full of amazing activities and didn’t have the time, energy, or means to provide them.
Thankfully, I having forgiving children.
Children who found a way to be satisfied with a very simple unorganized summer or summers.
With that said, we all make promises that we can’t keep at times. If you are a mother you know that we can’t always know what lies ahead. It’s during those times that we have to let go of being so deliberate and rely on the love in our heart.
With my recent winter of surgeries; winter was a flop. If I mothered at all; I didn’t have the energy to be deliberate.
I did have the time and energy to snuggle with my kids, listen to their every word, and show them love.
Now that we are settled. Now that I am healthy.
It is time to restart my deliberate engine.
I enjoy making plans and coming up with solutions on how to make summer great.
I did that. I took a few days in May to get prepared.
…and I must say our summer has been off to a great start.
It works for our family to know what to expect.
We are all happy. We are having fun and working hard too.
We are all accomplishing the things we want to do in our “FREE” time.
The kids are still learning and growing.
…and sometimes learning and growing doesn’t involve our nose in a book.
I plan to share a few of the things that have made our summer great. I hope to sit down and put them down here tomorrow.
Here is hoping I can be deliberate about that.
Maybe our summer plans will help you make your summer even better; although I am sure yours is already fabulous.
…because you are all amazing women.
Every. Single. One. Of. You.
because you are doing your best.
…and if your not in a place that you can make promises or plans.
Per my example of 2012 and 2013… don’t worry. Summer can still be great.
Our previous summers were still fun.
They were fun because we were together and we love one another.
When you can’t be deliberate, be loving.
…if your sick, pregnant, going through a tough time, moving, or just plain tired.
Remember that LOVE goes a long way.
I learned that love is all kids really need.
Plans and ideas for the summer are just extra.
We can be deliberate in our love and concern.
I learned that regardless of what we have going on. Kids still love you for who you are.
… we just need to make time to love them back.
This is the sweetest(I am grateful to be a mother) moment of my May happenings.
This is Tessa’s preschool graduation. She is singing:
Skina-ma-rinki Dinki Dink
And always points to me when she says,
“I. Love. You.”
Love can move mountains.
Love can change storm clouds into your rainbow.
Whether you have the time to make it deliberate or just fun-loving.