Thursday, November 6, 2008

Fulltime Job? No...a lifetime job.

Here I sit in an airport, all alone, by myself. Wow!! How do I feel? I should feel energetic, happy, and anxious to tackle the things I normally do with 3 kids in tow. As I sat eating my lunch, I couldn't help but feel sad. I heard a little boy say to his mom, "It's hot, hot, hot hot! I eat it?" I sat thinking about Isaac and the things he would be saying in a few short months. Although it was just minutes since I left him driving away in a car with my dear friend, I already miss him. I miss all of them. How is it that as desperately as I want to... I can't stop thinking about them? Everything reminds me of my beautiful children.

As I ponder these thoughts, it makes me realize that my job as a mother is a 24 hour job, but it's also a job that will go on for a lifetime. I will never stop thinking about them, no matter how big they grow. Even when I am away from them I still think of, and of course, worry about them.

It also made me stop and ponder those mothers who have lost children. I am sure they are always thinking about their loved ones who have passed on. It would be hard not to, just as I sit here thinking about mine who are just 20 miles away. And then, what about those mothers who are just beginning with an empty nest? I am sure even though their children are not in their home they are still on their mind.

Does mothering our children ever stop? As I thought about this, I thought in my mind, "I hope not." I don't ever want to stop thinking about my children, or being reminded of something. I hope little memories are constantly brought to the forefront, and some of my memories sparked by random events or small tokens noticed along the way.

I am so proud that I have chosen motherhood as my full time and lifetime career. I wouldn't have it any other way.

There is one other little thought that came to my mind as I pondered these thoughts. Yes, I do have too much quiet time right now. I don't experience these quiet moments very often. I do enjoy being alone with my thoughts. I also enjoy taking the time to write them down. It somehow gives me more perspective. Any how.... on to that other thought. I couldn't help but think about how our Heavenly Father must feel daily, as he is still "mothering" us. He really has a BIG BIG full time job. What a wonderful example we have. Isn't it great to know that we have someone to turn to when we are stumped in our role as parents. He has experienced all of this numerous times with an infinite amount of children. Children that he loves, thinks about, and ponders over, just as we do our own. WOW!! I just got the chills. We are all loved.

It's about time for me to board my plane, and enjoy my stay without my kids. I will do this, but it doesn't mean that I have to stop thinking about them.

8 comments:

Emily said...

How fun! I too would enjoy some quiet time . . .

Krysta said...

I think you definatley have too much time on your hands! LOL :) I wish I was sitting with you at the airport...do you remember those crazy times of flying to Dallas in the fall? Remember the looks we would get from other people who thought we were crazy taking our kids with us on the plane? That was when we only had 3, combined! What would they think of us now, with 6!?!

Have tons of fun! I can't wait to see you soon. Enjoy your thoughts of your kids because you don't have to stop thinking about them...you can't even if you try

Leila said...

What great perspective...as usual.

I know where you are you going, and I WISH I was going too. Give Kristin a hug from all her loved ones in San Diego. I am starting to choke up as think of where she is has been, and where she is now. I just love her. What an example of faith and love she has been to me.

Eileen said...

What a beautiful post. I totally AMEN all that you said.

And don't spend ALL your time thinking about your kids. Time apart is good for both of you.

Michelle said...

Beautiful, Andrea. I was so excited to see that you had posted since you left! It's funny to miss you just knowing you're gone, even though I just saw you yesterday. :)
Thanks for sharing those thoughts--I love what you said about Heavenly Father and us as His children.

Tara said...

Isn't it strange that we take off on this motherhood journey so completely clueless as to how it will change us forever - not just what we do while we are raising the kids, but who we are, what we think about, how we feel, all of it.... Thanks for sharing your thoughts -- enjoy your quiet time!

Becky and Jaron Brunson Family said...

This post reminds me how when Jaron and I finally get a date night, we can hold about 30 minutes of conversation before it finds its way back to the little boys. Makes me think...what do people without kids think/talk about??

Amber said...

I agree. It always seems like I look forward to time alone & time away with out kids & then when I do get that time I am just not sure what to do with myself. It was great seeing you at Kristin's wedding. I hope you enjoyed your trip!

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