A gift.

God has given me lots of gifts in my life.

I have five very special people in my life that I consider my greatest gifts.

Each time a child has come in to our home, I have felt a love that I couldn’t comprehend before.

When I had Jex, I was surprised by the amount of love I had for him.

Then, when I was pregnant with Stella, I was so worried that I wouldn’t love Stella as much as I loved Jex.  I mean, “How could I?”

“How could I possibly find more room in my heart to love another child?”

My heart was already overflowing. 

Then, she was born.

They placed her in my arms, and I literally felt my heart grow.

She filled up all the empty spaces in my new larger heart.

Each time a child was born, my heart grew again, and immediately the empty spaces were filled up with love for another child.

I love all my children equally.

However, I love them each for different reasons.

They fill up different places in my heart for different reasons.

Over the next few weeks, I want to touch on the reasons that I love each child.

Today, I’m going to share about Tess.  Included are photos of Tess making cookies for her preschool class, and other fun March moments.  I might even sneak in a few baby and toddler pictures.

Continuing on with speaking about our children being a gift.

I knew before they came that they would be a gift from God.

Just for the reason being that they are God’s children, and he is trusting them to my care.

Another precious little bundle of joy that screams, “I just came from heaven.”

“I was just with God yesterday.”

How can you not receive that gift with open arms.

I did not however, think about how the attributes that our little gift brings to the family, could also be a gift from God; designed specifically to bless me.

Then, a few months ago, in church, a woman shared her feelings about one specific child that came to her home.

She said, “God gives us certain blessings at certain times for certain reasons, (and then she named her daughter), my daughter is one of those blessings.”  She told us, “My daughter, brought with her the peace I needed to get through what was going on in my life during the time of her birth,and many times since, and she has remained the peacemaker in our home.”

It was that moment, that I realized, that was exactly what Tess was for me.

From the moment she came to our family she brought with her a ray of sunshine.

Whenever she is in our home, you can see the ray of sunshine shining down on our house.

At the time she was born, life was hard.  When she was born, I had 4 children under the age of 7.

I lived away from my family.  I didn’t have much help.

Jonathan was very busy as a resident in his 2nd year of residency. 

I don’t want to make it sound like he wasn’t present.  He was very present.  When he was home, he helped.  In fact, there were times that he had been on call all night, and when he got home he stayed up just to be with us and help.

However, with that being said, he did take call.  He worked shifts that were 30+ hours, he had presentations to put together, and mostly worked 80-90(or more) hours a week.

I believe God knew that life would not be easy.

In that moment at church, I realized that God could have very easily sent a child that was fussy, or busy, or cross.  Sometimes kids come like that.  That doesn’t mean we love them any less.  It just changes how we love them.

Tess was never cross, she came always happy, always snuggly, and always content.

Tess slept from 11pm until 7am, on her first night home from the hospital.

See… a gift.

God gave me the gift of a daughter who maintained a sort of sunshine and happiness in our home.  Whenever I was stressed or overwhelmed, a moment of just sitting down to nurse my little one, could change my day or my mood completely.

…and still at the precious age of 5 she maintains her role in our home.

She is capable of changing the mood around completely.

In fact, when I am having a bad day, I find myself looking for her in our home to just sit with or snuggle.  Her happiness has a way of rubbing off on me.

We all call her our little ray of sunshine.

In fact, she happens to be a ray of sunshine to almost all she meets.  I often here neighbors and friends comment on how wonderful she is.  I have friends who completely fall in love with her.  I believe they fall in love with how they feel when they are around her.  They feel happy.

Tessa, finds the good in every situation.

Last year, she had her Kindergarten shots.  When I told her she needed to have some shots, she asked, “How many?” I replied hesitantly, “I think 3?” She smiled and said, “Oh, that’s not that many.”  She then climbed up on my lap, snuggled in, and didn’t even flinch when they poked her three times.  She then hopped down and said, “That wasn’t a big deal.

She finds the good, and she is one tough cookie.

She really is tough.

She is brave.  I am 36 years old, and I don’t dare learn to ski.

She started flying down the mountain on 2 skis at the age of 4.

Her love language is physical touch.  She loves to snuggle. 

She loves to be in my space.  She will put her finger on my nose, or touch my hair, or rub her cheek on my cheek.  Sometimes, I get frustrated that she invades my personal space.  Then, I remember this is how she shows her love.

She always does it with a smile.

This girl came out of my womb dancing.

She has loved music from the moment she was born.

She is a beautiful dancer.  I knew dancing would be her thing from the time she was 2, and it is.

Watching her dance, can bring a smile to anyone’s face.

So… if your having a bad day, come on over.

Let our little ray of sunshine put on a dance recital for you, to Alex Boye of course, because that is her fav. Wouldn’t you know her song of choice is; Happy.

By doing so, I promise you that in seconds your bad day, your worries, your gray clouds and storms will be overshadowed by our little ray of sunshine….

…by my gift from God.

The gift he gave me to find happiness and peace in a time that he knew would be a struggle.

That little gift got me through some of the hardest trenches of motherhood.

Thank you to my Father in Heaven.

Thank you for trusting me with your little ray of sunshine.