This morning at 5:25 am, I dragged my sleeping angels out of bed to take Jonathan to work. His truck broke down on the freeway yesterday as he was coming home from work. You are probably thinking to yourself, oh... I am so sorry that you had to do that. It sounds miserable. I however, decided to look at it differently.
This is the beginning of our fifth year of medical training. It has not always been easy. There have been lots of difficult moments in these last 4+ years. Training to be a doctor is hard work. I have often found myself having a pity party for myself. Oh poor me... my husband works long hours, he is on call, he is so tired. (I usually only think this to myself, and I put on a front that I am fine.) Among the long hours, he still has responsibilities. I try to ease that burden as much as I can. He is still so helpful with the kids when he is home. However, when things like a broken truck get thrown in to the mix it really makes it hard. How do you deal with getting it fixed, working a 30 hour shift, and find time for your wife and kids. I thought about that this morning on our drive in to work. I thought immensely about the sacrifices that my husband has had to make along the way. Normally, I would have been thinking... this is such a sacrifice for me. I have to get out bed, and drag the kids out of bed. Then I have to deal with them today when they are so exhausted. What changed my attitude?
Yesterday, during conference, President Monson talked about enjoying the journey. He reminded me that this time would be over before I know it. It got me thinking, I can either be ornery about getting out of bed, or I can "enjoy this journey." I can savor the extra 30 minutes that I got with my husband this morning, or I can be grumpy. My favorite part of the day, was when I realized that he got to say goodbye to the kids this morning. This is something that he never gets to do. He got an extra 30 minutes with them today. He got to hear, "I love you daddy", before he walked in to the chaos of the hospital. That is when I realized that I am not the one who sacrifices. I am home all day, "enjoying the journey" with our children while he works hard to provide for us. Residency is so demanding, and I know how badly he wants to be a part of what we are doing.
I will forever be grateful to my loving husband; who makes it possible for me to come home after a 1 hour drive of dropping him off, and allows me to climb back in to bed with my baby. I treasured my 15 minutes with Isaac while I fed him a bottle this morning, because I know that Jonathan would gladly trade me in a heartbeat. So... instead of finding things to complain about, or think about the sacrifices I make as a mother. I am going to focus on the sacrifice that my husband makes for me so that I can be a "stay at home mom", and enjoy the journey. We love you Jonathan. Thank You.