Lost…

If you noticed or even cared, I took a six month hiatus from blogging. 

It was for many reasons.  One reason was to do some thinking but, probably among the biggest reasons was building our new house, and moving.  It took a lot of time and energy.  We built a custom home.  I started by sketching out a design on paper, and ended by picking out every last detail inside.  Needless to say, we were here for every step of the process.  IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!  I want to share more about the process here, so more on that to come.  Here is a pic of the finished product:

We moved in at the end of October, and had just enough time to get our front yard in.

If you want to follow more of the process, you can follow us on Instagram @valleyviewabode It has originally been a private account, but I have felt very led to make it more public, and have it be a design and creative Insta account for me.  I will still keep our family Insta acct. private however. 

After all those house decisions, my brain was a little tired.  I tried to tell myself that I would blog about the process.  At night, when I thought I would have time to blog, I couldn’t.  I could not think about one more thing.

I blamed my lack of blogging on no brain power.

Then we moved in to this new house, and settled in.

  I realized that I was lost on this blog and the true me, long before that.

I lost myself somewhere between Pennsylvania and Utah.

When I look back over my blog posts, the frequency and even my heart seemed to diminish somewhere between Pennsylvania and Utah.

When I would sit down to blog, my heart wasn’t in it.  I was lost.

I went out a few days ago and took a few pictures after a huge snow storm we had, and I realized I felt a little like this bird.

  Lost.

Why is this bird here in all this snow?

As I started taking pictures, I remembered how much I love having this camera around my neck.

  I remembered how much seeing a scene through my view finder brought a quickness to my heart that I almost can’t describe.

When we moved in this new home, I started feeling bits of the old creative me coming back, and wondered where she had been.

I am beginning to feel more like me again.  I haven’t been a full Andrea since we got to Utah. 

I’ve been half an Andrea.  I’ve been a mom and a wife, but not a photographer, a blogger, a creator.

I think I figured out why.  Some of the reasons why are very personal, and I will keep to myself, and some are as simple as I forgot to find time to be creative.

I need time to be creative and use my creative brain each day.

Sure, I have gotten away for a weekend here or there to scrapbook, but once I came home; I was lost again.

Now that we are in our new home, I have my own space to find myself each day.  I have my own craft room/office.  It is amazing how that space has brought me back to life.  I can just walk in to that room and my eyes light up. 

It helped me realize that creativity is so important for me.  15 minutes in there can do my heart good.

When I was blogging frequently, I used to make time for photography.  That was a huge outlet for creativity for me.  When we moved here, I told myself I didn’t need to work anymore so I kind of just tucked my camera away, and started using my iPhone.  That makes me really sad.  I need to use my brain, I want awesome pictures of my kids.

  I need to remember how to use my big girl camera, and stretch myself with it.  It’s what makes me happy. 

{Photos of Stella from our impromtu photoshoot, on a snowday this week, oh be still my heart; this is true happiness for me.  My children + photography = happiness}

When I share my thoughts here, when I share a pretty picture here, or a creative idea; all these things bring me true happiness.  We all need to find what it is in our heart that brings us our personal happiness.

For you it might be soccer, or a good book, painting, or exercise.  Let’s not forget to make TIME. 

I have lots of things in life that bring me happiness; my kids, my husband, my church.  This, however, this one is about ME!!  This one is about spending time with me.  Doing what I love.  I kind of lost that for a while.  I let some of my anxieties, the world, some health challenges, being busy, and telling myself that I didn’t have time, take away some of that happiness.  I’m kind of tired of being lost.

{Photo Circa 2011- taken by: Krysta Moes}

So… my camera is back around my neck.  My desk is a mess again, and my computer is open once again…. and your gonna have to listen to me ramble here at own little corner of the world wide web.

Well… I guess that’s if you want to. 

Thanks for being here.